You are not alone

Happy hump day!!


So on my way to work every morning I have my large cup of Cafe Bustello Espresso coffee and I always put on KLOVE, the local christian music station. I really like them because it's a nice reminder you're not alone. Can I just tell you this week has been a rough week? Me and Michael have just been off this week, just one of those weeks you just can't get it together you know? It's only Wednesday and I feel like were still stuck on Monday. Between the kids, work, the normal drama, I just feel like what the heck. So this morning I decide to put the christian radio station on my iphone with no commercials and every single song spoke directly to me. I've been obsessed with "hills and valleys" and "old church choir", seriously go download them. They kept coming on this station and it really hit me hard. Hills and Valleys really digs into the hills and valleys of your life but no matter what God always has you. I've felt so alone sometimes this past year and a half. I felt so misunderstood and so lost, like he left me out there to figure it out. I kept thinking "Why do you keep bringing me back here, why isn't this getting better" and then one day it hit me. He said back to me "Because this is where you got stuck". In the midst of this Leigha crap and all of that drama, that's exactly where I got stuck. That's where my faith started to waiver. I could tell people all day God is great and merciful and forgiving, but when I was held to the flame I couldn't speak. When my life started to spiral out of control I could no longer practice what I was preaching. I felt like he'd abandoned me, like he wasn't going to get me out of this black hole I'd found myself in. Wasn't he supposed to help me? Thinking back this morning, he DID help me. He kept me safe that entire time of being attacked, he made sure verbal threats didn't become physical threats. He protected my mind and my heart no matter how far I wandered. This song really spoke to me and I felt like he was in the car ride with me. Just reminding me I was okay, and I wasn't alone. He's given me other step parents in my situation to lean on and help them through their struggles. He gave me Corey and Becky to be able to form a great relationship with and have someone who knows what the struggles of being a step parent are. You're not alone in this, you never were. Faith is a really hard thing to keep and the enemy will take any crack in the wall he can get. Whether it's your marriage, your family, your kids, your job. When I had those psycho's calling my job for days God made sure everyone knew the truth. Nothing had happened, I was never convicted of anything or arrested. He made sure I continued to flourish in my job. When my husband was accused of cheating on social media he again made sure everyone knew the truth. My husband would never cheat, he was a man of God and he was mine. So when I think back to when I felt alone I quickly realized I was never alone. I just needed to turn to him, let myself feel his presence. He's always there with you, you just need to listen! So as for Wednesday, lets try to get through it! It's going to be a gorgeous weekend here in Jersey and I'm so excited to spend it with my kids. You guys have a great hump day!


Kristen