The very real effects of heroin abuse during pregnancy

Good morning!

I saw something on social media this morning that kind of hit home for me. For anyone just jumping on board my step daughter Leigha was born addicted to opiates. For anyone reading this that thinks "that isn't true" or "that's hearsay" I have her medical records that were requested legally by her father with proof of this abuse and neglect. She spent 21 days in the NICU at Virtua weening her off of the drugs. This post is just a little insight of what this BABY went through because she was abused while in the womb. People have this very old way of thinking if a child comes out with ten fingers and ten toes that they dodged a bullet. WRONG. Leigha came out perfect physically. Mentally not so much, and nowadays they have the correct equipment and therapy to prove this connection of heroin abuse during pregnancy and the long term effects of it. Kids that have been exposed to heroin in the womb have been proven to not handle stress as well, especially in unstable environments (go figure). 68 percent of children that were exposed to opiates during pregnancy have clear signs that they cannot handle stress in stressful situations, unfortunately drug abuse during pregnancy and an unstable situation usually coincide with eachother. These children also have a higher risk of developing depression, anxiety and ADHD (which Leigha has been diagnosed with) There are studies now that show kids born addicted to these opiates can show behavioral problems well into childhood. Leigha was also diagnosed by her neurologist with ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) which symptoms include self harm (I've given you all the opportunity to read these articles with the websites at the bottom of the page). They have showed that if a child is removed from that stressful situation and was placed into a stable environment that child can thrive in their life. But leaving them in a mentally abusive situation where the child is used as ammunition will continue the damage to this child. It's not surprising that 65 percent of children born addicted to opiates are either held back a grade during elementary school or have to receive special education. In every research article I've read it clearly states that a child left in an environment of addiction with the mother who was and or is addicted compromises the child. Heroin abuse during pregnancy can also cause sleep issues for the child later on in life, that doesn't seem very concerning but when you have a toddler who refuses to go to sleep or can't go to sleep this condition has been linked to the abuse during pregnancy. I want all of my readers to be aware of the very real effects of illegal drug use during pregnancy. Leigha will suffer her entire life with possible addiction problems, behavioral disorders, just to name a few. babies are born addicted to illegal drugs every single day and it's heartbreaking to know that they didn't choose that life. Unfortunately in the state of NJ it is still legal to give birth to a baby born addicted to heroin, there's no criminal charges. Even though you actively tried to kill your fetus, but hey no problem. That's not to say the wonderful kidnappers at DCPP won't get involved but we can all say that division isn't the best people to save a child. The bottom line is these are very real issues for babies born addicted to drugs. It's something that continues to hit home for me all the time. Again, I've cited my sources to this information I've stated in this post if anyone would like to do additional research. There's also signs and symptoms of ODD use for people who don't want to cope with the fact that ODD symptoms do in fact include self harm. Save these children, they don't have voices. They need YOUR voice. fight for them.

Kristen

ODD diagnosis and symptoms:

https://www.gstatic.com/healthricherkp/pdf/oppositional_defiant_disorder.pdf

http://www.livescience.com/28042-meth-moms-babies-stress.html

http://www.crchealth.com/addiction/heroin-addiction-treatment/pregnant-heroin/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1272838/

Step monster: real or make believe?

Good afternoon lovies!

Can we talk about the ridiculousness of step parenting?! Let me preface with this past holiday with Ashley and Brianna were kind of awesome. Their moms were totally accommodating with us to do presents with the girls and have them to celebrate the holidays with. It's an amazing thing when a family can work together for the good of the child. Unfortunately Leigha was a little bit different and it was decided last minute to not allow her to receive her gifts. That unfortunately hurt Leigha more than anything to not get her gifts from her father. But that's just another hurdle we have to jump right? Unfortunately Narcissists and selfish people don't actually take into consideration the children. But the good news is we had Ashley and Brianna and such a fantastic time with them! I can personally say the struggle of a step parent is trying to form that bond with the children as well as forming that bond with the biological moms. That sounds absolutely crazy since i'm supposed to be the step monster right? I'm this horrible person who came into this mans life and married him and took on three kids that I did not give birth to. We never had that "honeymoon" period. Especially since he had Leigha full time. I was terrified of brianna because at the time she was eight and had a complete idea of what was going on. God blessed me with her not being a complete asshole to me and was actually super wonderful at welcoming me into her life. It also helped that her mom and step dad Corey got to know me and realized I wasn't this crazy crackhead that wanted to tear up lives. But they did the right thing and invited me in, i'm not saying we've never had disagreements but when we do it's a conversation. Not an argument threatening child support and court. That's ridiculous. I can honestly say now almost three years later that nobody dreams of being a step mom. You're not a little girl dreaming of growing up and marrying a man who's already been married and had kids and doing it all over again. I can say I've struggled with the fact that I won't have those kinds of firsts with him. But what I can say is it will be a first for US. In a few years we'll have a baby and it will be a completely different experience for him. He won't have to worry about me coming home and stealing diapers and formula and returning them to the store for money for illegal things. He won't have to worry about me not waking up during the night to feed the crying baby. He won't have to worry about me wandering out at all hours of the night to again do illegal activities. I'm a great wife and an even better step mom and hopefully soon to be mom. I'm not this evil wicked step mom from the storybooks, as a matter of fact most step moms are pretty awesome. It's finally come to light that ex wives, ex girlfriends, ex baby mamas, they can all get along with this woman in your childs life. It doesn't have to be this crazy, control freak situation. Who says your child can't love more than one person? Becky and Tammy both know full well they are their childs mother but when they come to my house that's the role I play at my house and it's encouraged. We want the children to feel as if they have this huge family. At the end of the day it's not about you or me, it's about them. And you can bet damn well I have their best interests at heart. I'm glad I could foster a relationship with these women and know the children are growing up in the best possible environments. Don't use your children as a weapon or one day you'll find yourself without ammunition. Do the right thing, be a grown up, take care of your child, be a family. If you're struggling with with a woman that refuses to accept you because she has this jaded idea in her head that he's going to come back to her (like I do), brush it off. He's YOUR husband, he chose YOU. You have that marriage certificate, those diamond rings, that house, he bought YOU that car, that michael kors purse, that new ipad. You're the one he sleeps next to every single night. Trust me, that's hard to wrap your head around but it's true. So go ahead and be that awesome step mom, don't let people bring you down to be that wicked step mother that puts children in ivy towers. Keep doing what you do best, raise those babies. Form that relationship. Keep that bond. Blend your family. Love. Have faith and pray to God everyday that he keeps blessing your family. 

Have an awesome new years guys! See you in 2017!!

Kristen

Do you know how frustrating this is?!

Good morning step parents!


Can I just tell you how frustrating it is to try and break through glass ceilings? It has come to my attention that I have a new audience of people who don't particularly enjoy me but they keep clicking on my page ;) So enjoy! Life currently as a step mom involves me wrapping four million presents for all the kids, family, husband, cat and what not. It also has me continuously working out to avoid stress in my life, preparing to take the kids to places, planning Ashley's birthday, and attending holiday parties. We actually DO go to holiday parties, we don't just say were going to cover up the bigger picture. Were going to my mother in laws for Christmas eve which is pretty exciting. Both of our families are going to be there for games and fun and just an awesome family gathering. We also recently got Leigha this awesome coat that's a three in one coat. It has the hood and the fleece inside and then the weather resistant coat on the outside and cute little hat and gloves to go with it. Someone has to keep her warm in the winter! Let me tell you, we have the heat on full blast in our house and it's COLD outside. I've been making really "homey" comfort meals lately. We did Chili in the crock pot the other day and it was delicious. Last night we did asparagus and pork chops in the air fryer. This air fryer was such an amazing purchase you all have to look into it. We fry everything in there and with my weight loss I'm very on top of what I eat all the time. This uses NO oil whatsoever. The pork chops were juicy on the inside and super crisp on the outside. I'm pretty strict with the kids and their sugar intake, Leigha was always gluten free and sugar free and it reigned in her ADHD pretty well. I was told I was making her into a robot by watching her diet haha which is rather funny because now they have a place called "Brain Balance" which basis their entire sessions off of clean eating and educational therapy. That's what I did for YEARS with Leigha and it would work for the most part until outside situations affected her. So this place can charge $11,000 a year for their sessions and I did it for free, but I was making her into a robot. Welp, someone was doing something right then! All I can say is Ashley fully enjoys her organic meals and organic yogurt with ice water. She doesn't ask for juice or milk, she doesn't want sugary snacks or candy. Not to mention she's fully aware we don't have any of that stuff in the house. But she does know we have fruits, veggies, water and yogurt which she will always ask for. Little kids are completely amazing to raise and they go with what they're taught. I'm not saying Ashley isn't a threenager at some points but what I am saying is we taught the girls respect. Leigha always asked to be excused from the table, she always ate her dinner (we had no eating problems which from what i'm aware seems to be an issue now), she was perfectly fine with ice water and no candy or sugar. The great thing about that is she never had cavities! Until she was introduced to candy constantly from an outside source and she did get one cavity that I had filled immediately. Now unfortunately she has numerous ones. I really try to prevent the girls from having struggles that I had growing up. There are so many medical break throughs and education now on food intake and children and how to prevent childhood obesity. There's so many more options for ADHD than adderall which is a significant drug that really shouldn't be taken by children. What I can say about being a step mom in the life that I'm in right now is that I will fight for these girls like they're my own. I don't care who I have to go through or what lawsuits need to be filed but I can tell you yesterday lit a fire underneath me and I'm going to bring an end to all the corruption and abuse happening. The girls may have no come from me but I can say I have a great relationship with two of their mothers and tried to make a relationship with the other. It should always be about the children and their well being and their mental status. Brianna fully enjoys that we can get together as a family with her mom and step dad and really communicate and enjoy time together. Ashley is also the same way, we don't have to worry about useless nonsense and fighting. Medical necessities are communicated constantly, what's happening with the children including school is always communicated with Ashley and Briannas moms. That's how co-parenting works, you communicate openly. About vacations, medical, educational. Everything, just because you're not with the other parent doesn't mean communication shuts down and you shut the other parent out. It means you have open lines, especially when there's other step parents involved. Step parents don't have to be hated, hell ... ex wives don't have to be hated! Nor do ex girlfriends, but when there is a special mental disability happening that prevents the other parent from accomplishing what is in fact in the best interest of the child that bears the brick wall nobody ever wants to run into. So at the end of this wonderful day I'm communication that everything in fact needs to be in the best interest of the child.

Have a wonderful week guys!

Kristen

Feeling defeated is legit

Oh good afternoon my fellow step parents! It's come to my attention that my blog is reaching a lot of people! Including some people who aren't very satisfied with what I'm writing about. Well, go pound sand because I genuinely don't care! This blog is about fellow step parents and what were all going through as a group. My history with my step children are on here and while I don't enjoy bashing other parents it's an opportunity for other step parents to validate their feelings. While my situation is very unique in having three separate moms to have to deal with, I'm still a step mom. Other step parents have so many issues and are always so scared to talk about them. While were in and out of court I try to curb most information for court purposes but once this is all taken care of and done I can reveal more information. As for right now were scheduled for court tomorrow on December 1st for what's called a compliance review. Basically to make sure everyone is completing services they're supposed to complete and hopefully reunite my family and make that complete again. We did have parent teacher conferences with Leighas teacher which was really eye opening to a few situations. The great news is she's brilliant as we originally planned :) She's on a first grade reading level and excelling in every academic way. Looks like me turning her into a robot worked ;) You know the whole "don't rot your brain with TV and junk food" and getting Leigha her leap reader when she was younger, reading to her every night, doing site words with her. I guess "turning her into a robot" turned her into a brilliant little kid. Who woulda thought! Children who love to learn really need to be worked on, Leigha absolutely loved educational things. She looked forward to cleaning her room, she loved her books every night, she would come home from school and put her giant headphones on and get her leap reader out. Because that's what she LOVED. Especially with her ADHD that we pretty much controlled with her diet and educational activities. With Leigha having the ADHD she really needed to hone in on things she loved to do. I bought her a workbook and everynight she would work on coloring the upper case and lower case letters and staying in the lines. She would stay focused for HOURS. If she wasn't doing that she was eating dinner or in her room playing with her dress ups and kitchen set, or reading with her leap reader. Things like that use kids imaginations, they open their worlds to all kinds of things. Watching a child learn and encouraging them and giving them positive reinforcement really gives them so much self esteem. Leigha never came out to tell us she "hated herself" or her life. She really enjoyed everything we gave her and did for her. I potty trained her when she was not even three and right away she was fantastic, even over night. So at the end of the day I've had to climb every wall and fight every hostile person to be able to stand my ground as a step mom and help raise these wonderful children. All I can do is stick by my faith and pray that God knows exactly what's going to happen and he won't let myself or my husband sink. These children are amazing and can do incredible things in the future. Everything is in His hands, so let it happen :) 

have a great night guys!

Kristen

The thing about freedom of speech

Man! this has been a while! I missed you guys! I have gotten emails recently asking about my step daughters and how everyones been since I've been gnarly busy trying to just live life. So here I am! The thing about my blog is I've tried to make it a daily update on life and problems with parenting, co parenting, whatevs. The great thing about my blog is as a journalist I'm covered under freedom of speech. Now don't get me wrong, using full names or identifying people using their names or anything like that isn't really up my ally. But if you know me and my life and the people surrounding my life you'll get the gist of it you know? My life is a huge rollercoaster right now and having a blog brings me and other step parents together into a group much like a family. At the end of the day co parenting is tough, especially when the other parent refuses to co parent. Spitefulness and manipulation doesn't hurt anyone but your child at the end of the day. Any real parent knows they want to rid the chaos from their childs life, not continue or add to it. That's crazy! So I will continue my blog and continue about my life with my wonderful step daughters and keep the updates coming! Nothing too detrimental has happened recently, just the norm. Ashley is fully potty trained (at least at our home)! yay for big girl underwear! I remember when I potty trained Leigha, she was probably a little younger than ashley is now. I took the pull ups, threw them out, and put her in big girl undewear. she was so incredibly smart we barely had to do it. She had two accidents and she was good to go! Even overnight wasn't an issue, at least not until a few years later ... moving on. So now that Ashley is fully potty trained it's a bridge we've crossed and now we can start talking about bringing our own little one into the world! Not yet guys don't get too excited! But now that life seems to be settling down and things are moving in a good direction I can think about carrying my own child and raising my own child with my husband. I can't wait to incorporate my step daughters and my biological child or children. I love having one big family, it's such an awesome idea. Brianna and Ashley love hanging out together, you can really tell there's a sister bond there. Were still praying God keeps blessing us and moving those mountains for us to bring Leigha back home and get her back to a normal environment. Prayers guys! thanks! Leigha hasn't been doing fantastic the past few weeks but anyone who knows me on a daily basis knows the details of this and we just keep praying that something happens and someones eyes are opened and they bring her back to a safe, loving environment with therapy that's going to actually work. Meanwhile were coming up on the holidays! I'm so excited for thanksgiving and the familiy and the love the holidays bring. I did pretty awesome this year and started shopping for everyone in June. The girls have been done for a few weeks now and so has michael, I also got my in laws finished so it's just my family. My niece has a birthday party today to celebrate her third birthday! so excited to bring ashley to her party later and celebrate. Well have Ashley the day after christmas to celebrate that with her and our other family members. We did recently move in the past few months so we'll be celebrating in our new home! I recently got a raise at work and that's really exciting. I've been at the same hospital for over two years now and I'm so happy i've made that my home. Even though someone thought they had some sort of ... pull to get my fired haha. We see how that worked out! two years and counting! good try bud. I'm so excited to start this new year and really see what it has to bring to us. So thanks for checking on me guys, there's a quick update on what's happening in our lives. I'll be sure to post a little more often now and I hope you all have a great thanksgiving!!

Kristen

Hide your children ...

Raise your hands if you've ever thought about your children being kidnapped and there's nothing you can do about it. *hand raised*. it goes through every parents mind, you watch the lifetime movies, and the news stories and people have kids kidnapped and it's horrible. it's heartbreaking, it's terrible. You always try to do everything possible to keep your kids safe, put trackers on their phones, lock the doors and windows, set the alarm. What if i told you that you are more likely to open the door for the kidnapper and before you know it you're watching them take your kid? Unfortunately that's the reality of the world that Hillary Clinton has built for us. Hillary has made some really dumb decisions like Bill, probably not the cream of the crop choice for a husband. Also the Adoption and Safe families act of 1997. Has anyone actually read that act? Have you actually realized that there are now incentives to place children in foster homes? The lipstick on the pig tells you that it was designed to help children with special needs be adopted out of foster care, but has anyone asked how they got there in the first place? Previously in life when CPS took your child they gave you services and did everything to preserve the family and keep it together. Rehab if you must. This was Hillarys baby, this was such a great thing to partake in to just pave her road for her run for President. WRONG. it's a terrible act, they make the public believe that this was to show that they cared about the children and wanted the children to be happy. Example of this act in progress? My step daughter Leigha lived in our home for her entire life, when she was kidnapped by DYFS she went through multiple foster homes where her clothes were stolen and she was given rags. Then she was placed with her mother who's currently abusing heroin and refuses to take care of her. GREAT JOB HILL. This act has made it so CPS is moving quicker to terminate parental rights therefore dragging out the process *Que all the due process lawsuits* and not giving the parents the services required to reunite the children. Did you know that fifty to eighty percent of the child trafficking issues were foster children? That means they snatched these kids from their homes for asinine reasons and placed them in foster homes that were trafficking these children for money. *vomit in my mouth*. You know what else makes me want to projectile vomit? For every child CPS kidnaps from their homes that office gets a $4,000 bonus which trickles down to the specific worker that took them. Don't believe me? Email me and i'll show you the paychecks of the state worker that took Leigha and you'll see the $14,000 she got in bonuses for kidnapping kids. FOURTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS for stealing kids, which is why she gave no regard or emotion to stealing Leigha and putting her in foster care. Don't worry, they're state workers so their information is public record. Thank you OPRA. Moving onto something even more horrifying is the fact that when your child is involuntarily taken from you these foster care parents get stipends from the state obviously to take care of your child while in their care. You can determine if that actually happens, anyway, while getting these nice stipends from the state they can also take your now emotional, mourning, distraught, hard working self to court for child support! ARE YOU F***** KIDDING ME?! yup whats up with that state of NJ? Christie? Anyone out there? yup, they can serve you with a court order to pay for the childs healthcare and pay them money every week on top of getting their state stipend. So they're rolling in the dough for your child that you didn't even want to give up! On top of all of that if your child has mental issues or behavioral issues such as ADHD or ODD and require medication the state pays that family MORE money to take care of that child. And to think you don't have a damn choice in any of this, you raised this child. You bathed them, fed them, woke up in the middle of the night with them, they're YOUR child and you have no say in what happens. To end this horrifying series of events and back to my original statement of letting the kidnappers in your house and watching them take your kid. I've posted about this previously but they have this pretty piece of paper called the DODD order named after some idiot who played politician for Halloween one year. This piece of paper allows them to take your child because they think they're being harmed and give you a court date two days later where the court decides to uphold the removal or not. If they don't uphold it then it's all "my bad bro, here's your kid back". What? What part of that doesn't scream "thanks for violating my constitutional rights"? Que Alexander Hamilton rolling over in his grave. Last time I checked the constitution was the supreme law. Now it's just an old piece of paper that people laugh about because schools teach the absolute worst history on the document. They also don't prepare you for having your rights violated and nobody actually giving a shit about it. Sorry guys and girls, America has died. Read this blog entry and then read it again, then email it to your friends, family, nana, dog whoever. Because at the end of the day nobody thinks your child is going to be kidnapped by someone in a cheap suit and flats accusing you of smoking marijuana when you were twelve. It happens folks, prepare yourself because it happens everyday. My email is at the end of this blog for any questions or concerns regarding any of the material in this blog today. you have a question? I'll betcha i can answer it, you might even get a witty comeback! 

Have a great night ya'll and protect yo children!

Kristen


---> Email:
kgoeb07@hotmail.com

Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Good morning fellow step parents!

I had such an awesome weekend with my youngest step daughter Ashley i'm still happy about it! We went to Johnson's Farm for some pumpkin picking and lunch which was awesome. Every year she gets older the more awesome and exciting it gets! She loved the hay ride and walking around the field, she ended up piling all the pumpkins into a pile! haha it was really an awesome day. It's fantastic watching these little humans learn and grow and experience new things. Unfortunately the beginning of our day was not as happy, we pick Ashley up on Saturday mornings at 8:30 halfway between our house and her mothers house. I say her mothers house because she refuses to give us the address of where she's actually living with her boyfriend. That home consists of Ashley have no bed of her own, she has to sleep with them. She also has no room for herself, they live in an attic with some caged animal and all of his tattoo supplies. This has resulted in Ashley receiving two black eyes in the past year which is still a little shady on how she got both of them. So we've been trying to actively potty train for months now, we got the potty seat, the underwear, the rewards, the whole shabang. We put in her underwear, we deal with the accidents and we try to keep her going forward. Then she goes home to her mom for five days and sits in a diaper. And when I say she sits in a diaper i mean they put a diaper on her and she contracts yeast infections every week because they refuse to wipe her between changes. Gross, I know. Anyway so she shows up in her pajamas and no shoes because for some reason putting shoes on your toddler when leaving the house doesn't happen with them, were honestly lucky she had a jacket on. Anyway so she stinks like cigarettes, she's hysterically crying because her mother always says something to get her going like "i know but you have to go to your dads house" or "we can't go to the lake today because you have to go to your dads house" ultimately making mike the bad guy for wanting to spend time with his kid. SO not only does she stink but she has FOOD stuck to the side of her FACE from the previous night. W T F. So we go to my moms house and i get her cleaned up and get her into fresh clothes. As soon as I offered her yogurt and water in the car she was totally fine, she's not a brat, her mom is. we get all set and get some breakfast in us and off we went to pick pumpkins! She's obviously the sweetest little girl that we could have taken with us at that age. She was fine the whole time, even ate an entire hot dog! The rest of the weekend was fun, we went to church, hung out, did whatever, potty trained which she took to pretty well like normal. A few accidents but nothing horrible. We have hit this huge brick wall of Ashley continuously calling her moms boyfriend "daddy H***" (I'm not revealing his name) and actually calls mike that pretty consistently now. The kid is pretty obviously confused about who is who in her life. We've confronted her about this previously (as i'm sure you're all aware from previous posts) and she still just seems to not understand. The weirdest part about this weekend was sitting at the table and Ashley starts to tell us about a story where moms boyfriend hit mom. W T F. I won't get into details but if an almost three year old can tell me the things she told me I would believe it. On top of already knowing about the physical violence that has happened between them. Needless to say she's showing up with black eyes, yeast infections, crazy stories and not potty trained. For some reason her mom seems to not care. I've been pretty neutral in this entire thing for a long time just playing my step mom role but when does enough become enough? Not to mention as soon as Ashley saw her mom she immediately asked for her "passy". Now my sister in law took her daughters pacifier away a while back and my niece never asks for it, ever. As a matter of fact my new nephew has one and she still doesn't ask for hers. Because she knows she doesn't get one, how about that! Three years old and Ashley is still being given a pacifier, that's disgusting. Stop it, stop with the pacifier at three years old. We stopped giving it to her two years ago and she never asks us for one. So all in all, as well as WE'VE raised this child she still goes to a home full of violence and poor parenting. Who do you call for help? Because last time we called for help they tried to arrest me for child abuse. So you can't call the authorities what do you do? We could go back to court but that's a fifty fifty chance, who knows how the judge is that day. I'm just so frustrated this little girl is living in filth all day, with no baths, they don't even take the previous coat of nail polish off before they slap another coat on. Her ears are dirty and full of wax, her socks were destroyed and tore up (so we bought her another pack of socks). Her clothes are never the right size, the coat was a 4T! I just can't comprehend, why have children if you're not willing to take care of them? This is the end of my rant for this week, it was just so frustrating watching a mother who is not on drugs, make poor choices. A mother who is more concerned with her boyfriend and their relationship than the son she gave up and the daughter she refuses to take care of. Anyway, moving forward. Any comments, suggestions or just advice from any step parents is of course always welcome! Remember to stick together, step parents have a tough job! Keep it up and keep lovin' those babies :)

Have a blessed week guys

Kristen

As the world crumbles

Long time no blog!


life has been INSANE. This step mama is EXHAUSTED! so the past few months have just been a complete whirlwind of emotions and things happening that I never thought were actually legal to be honest. In June I went to court for custody of my step daughter leigha on behalf of my husband. This court date consisted of the Judge being so incredibly understanding and nice, and Leighas mom cussing on the record ... numerous times. Classy. Regardless custody wasn't changed because it wasn't filed correctly blah blah. We were due back in court with DCPP (formerly known as DYFS) on July 25th, which *dun dun dun* was cancelled *shocked face*. So we wait, and wait and wait and grow some gray hairs, celebrate whatever holidays happen in there, we moved you know the norm. We actually moved because leighas mom has a nasty habit of being mentally unstable and we no longer felt safe in our apartment so we moved to a gated community in another town. Needless to say I don't think she's getting past the gate guard, the cameras and the alarm system *phew*. Moving on, so were coming up on three months and guess what? NO court date! We did however get child support papers from leighas mom. Leighas mom paid ZERO money towards child support for FOUR YEARS of leighas life, nothing, nada. No medical benefits, no daycare money while my husband worked full time, no money towards the roof over her head, clothes on her back. Do you know who did pay for that? her Step mother! the evil step mother. I put my hard earned money to buying her things for her room, and christmas presents, and doctors appointments and field trips and plays at school. I did that. Anyway, so we have court on October 19th for child support while our other court date is still pending. SO I called today to find out yet again what the issue could be, I was told by the court clerk that the DAG (the attorney for DYFS) and DYFS could not agree on a court date. So were getting pushed back because the children can't agree on a day? Or don't want to agree on a day? So regardless the date is still not reset, we have child support court were hoping to get postponed. As far as Leigha herself is concerned, she's a hot mess. She's been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and I'm personally throwing in Bipolar. Her emotions are everywhere, she's up and down emotionally, she's distraught all the time. She talks about me to Michael during a visit then immediately asks him in a terrified manner not to tell her mom that she talked about her. What's that about? Her mom also tried to make it so the school couldn't give out any information about Leigha to michael. Isn't that crazy? probably because leigha is a hot mess and the school documents it and has to tell Michael about it. We weren't aware of the first day of school or back to school night. Now that we have the online access we can track everything about Leigha. We know when she misses school, we know there was a child study team involved with her, we know when her doctors appointments are. She also left out that school pictures were Thursday so we got that information as well so we could purchase our own. It really just baffles me how out of control this situation is. Almost a year ago leigha was placed in a house that's infested with bed bugs, she currently lives with two felons and someone else with a criminal history, the house has no heat, she eats cinnamon toast crunch and has five cavities. She tells michael she didn't brush her teeth last night because she didn't eat dinner, she didn't eat dinner because she ate too many gummy worms. WHAT?! In what world does any of that make sense? So this is a little dip into my world the past few months, it's been surgeries, nonsense, christmas shopping, holidays, prepping for the upcoming holidays, working, and trying to keep my sanity in it's container. But I'm back and ready for my future blogs! So keep in touch and keep listening and reading for my future shenanigans! 

The essential oil craze

Good morning parents!

So last night I had some razor burn from my new razor in various places. Mhm. And automatically I went for my tea tree essential oil. By this morning it's all cleared up and back to normal. Here's the realty though, I was always skeptical of essential oil use. I was always pro vaccination and medicine. If something was wrong you went to the doctor and they fixed you. Well boy was I wrong. Let me give you Ashley as an example. She lives in a house where multiple people smoke constantly inside. Her hair, skin and clothes all reek of cigarettes. She always comes with a cough like she can't get something up. It's absolutely terrible, she's had cigarette burns on her head and we've watched her sit on someone's lap who's smoking a cigarette. So in the midst of this chaos I decide to try essential oils. So I buy her a diffuser for her room and drop some oregano, eucalyptus and tea tree oil in it and voila! Next day she's back to normal. No wheezing, no coughing. All better. Because of the constant cigarette smoke she's exposed to she pops up with random colds, I also include peppermint during that time to open her nasal passages to help her breathe. She calls her diffuser her "smelly" and turns it on herself! Now I've also used oregano oil for minor things like blisters and cuts. It heals incredibly fast and much better than neosporin. I've also used lavender oil for minor skin tears and sun burn! I actually diffuse lemon and lavender at work to help with the allergies there which is great. So all in all I would say if you research essential oils and their uses they can be extremely helpful in most situations. If it's extreme and your leg is falling off you should probably go to the hospital. My sister in law sells young living essential oils so if anyone is interested in trying anything let me know and I'll hook you up with her! Have a great day guys!

Kristen 

Who do you call for help?

Good afternoon guys!

so as I'm sitting here thinking about some information I've stumbled upon today regarding Leigha I start to think to myself "who do you go to for help?" When child protective services is the government entity that put your child in the direct line of fire, what do you do? DCPP has covered up SO MANY ISSUES regarding Leigha in the past year it makes me physically sick to my stomach. When we called DCPP so many times regarding her well being with her mother. Like all the numerous times she refused to get the appropriate car seat, then lied to us about having it but refused to show it to us to prove she had the right car seat. Leigha talks, she tells us what the truth is. Or the time we told her mother no juice because it's not good for her or her ADD and she agreed but when she picked her up that weekend she handed her a sippy cup full of apple juice, then when Leigha told me she had juice in the cup her mom laughed and said "shh you're not supposed to tell anyone!". or that time Leigha told us her mom smacks her on her face when she talks about me or Michael during her visits. Then to add icing to the cake her mother admitted she does it and validated it with she felt she shouldn't have to hear about us (or leighas life with us) during her visit. PHYSICALLY ABUSED HER because she spoke about people her mother didn't like. I have a million stories I could tell you all about things like this, and yet it falls on deaf ears with people of any importance that could stop this nonsense. She goes to behavioral therapy yet it's being reported that she's so extremely violent that she can't be around other children. Who do you call when a child is in imminent danger and the government agency set up to protect her, put her there?! I can guarantee DCPP hasn't been out to that house since they threw her in there. Where they haven't seen the hundreds of bed bug bites all up and down her body that he mother told her not to tell michael about. Dressing her in long sleeves on a 75 degree day to cover the marks. They're missing the bald spots all over her head from ripping her hair out continuously because she can't handle the stress of living with her mom. If they inspected the house they would know the house is bank owned and they're squatters so she's a homeless child. They would know the mother committed tax fraud and now owes the IRS money. This is just a few of the things regarding where Leigha is living and who she's living with. but I'M the bad guy, i'm the person who supposedly gave her PTSD but her condition is getting worse by the day. I'm not sure if you've all seen my recent posts of her pictures but within a few weeks/months she's lost a significant amount of weight. She's refusing to eat. How unhealthy is that? This little girl that would eat liver with her daddy won't eat at all. The little girl who has no idea what a daddy is because her mother has her calling everyone else daddy. The little girl who wants to go play with her friends but "mommy doesn't like those people". how selfish? So here's my brick wall, who do you call for help? What do you do to save a child? Because at this point, our hands are tied. Were watching her drown and we can't do anything about it. Prayers for our family and this little girls survival during this trying time. Hopefully God brings us some peace and settles this before it's too late.

Have a good day guys.

Kristen

when social media is probably the devil himself

Hey guys!

So I've had a little run in with social media and the devil. So social media whether it be Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, what have you, is a pretty huge internet place that is basically protected under the first amendment. Which is kind of awesome. Until you come across cyber bullying, that's not so cool. So in the middle of our entire Leigha situation social media has played a big part. It gets our story out, it fights for the truth, it helps. But there's this terrible dark space like a rabbit hole that just opens up to horrible things. It was recently posted on Facebook that I'm a child abuser (cray. I know) and people got pretty violent with it. They posted about beating me with bats and burying me with shovels. I mean it gets pretty graphic. You really have to wonder when enough is enough. In all seriousness. This has given me some pretty thick skin but when people go unprovoked onto social media to write these terrible things, what do you do? Who do you turn to? God? The police? I'm gonna bet that God can probably help me. I'm fuming, I can't lie. It really gets under my skin when people who can even pay their mortgage, who take their child to the ER to get drugs, people who commit tax fraud, are all over the Internet spewing hate. It hurts. And it sucks. BUT BEHOLD! The lord has your back! I know, very classy. But seriously. He does. He presents situations to me and I can either retaliate and perpetuate the situation OR I can use it to my advantage. I mean, threatening with baseball bats isn't exactly legal. So as I look to God for some advice and realize that this can either make me or break me I know I need to let this make me. Do the right thing. Put it in gods hand and leave it alone. Walk away. Go pain something. Pet a cat. Buy a fish. Whatever. But take it, give it to God, and let it go. Because hate perpetuates hate. And that's not the plan for anyone. So to end this wonderful day of mine I've attached photos of my beautiful step daughters to show our loving relationship and realize God has this. I may not know his plan but it's not my job to know his plan. It's my job to follow his plan. Get my life together and do what he tells me to do. Because THATS my job. Because my father is KING and he has this. Y'all go have a blessed evening and love your babies!!!

Kristen

When do you start demanding respect?

Good morning wonderful parents!!

This week is moving week so if you don't see much from this step mama it's because i'm moving an entire storage unit and family into a new home! yay! So this past weekend we took my wonderful youngest step daughter to LBI here in New Jersey for a beach day. During this exchange in the morning it came to our attention that "organic is bulls*it" and ashley's obviously terrified of her father because she screams everytime she sees him (liar liar). Previously Ashley was taken to the ER on suspicions of "sexual abuse". Back in janurary or march sometime her mother sat in our living room and accused us of sexual abuse. Which is a pretty serious thing to accuse someone of, especially when there's no evidence of such a crime. She claimed ashley wouldn't let her wipe her during diaper changes or in the bath. Which was news to us because I've been giving the girls baths since they were little (minus nan, she can totally shower by herself haha). Ashley has never given myself or my husband a problem during diaper changes or bath time. Nor has she been red, or bloody (sorry) or shown any signs of trauma. We see her every weekend, and were not super excited about her choice in men so trust me we would notice. So moving on from that accusation, she also took Ashley to the ER and told them Ashley cries every time she sees Michael and she thinks there's some abuse happening. The ER told her to take her crazy pants off and get some mental help, she was fine. She she trucked her out to the EMERGENCY ROOM for a bogus claim because she knows she's a crappy parent and we know that too. Ashley doesn't ever cry when she sees mike unless she tries to create this situation to make Ashley cry. Like telling her she can't take her to the lake because she has to see daddy, or giving her toys she doesn't need to take in the car. because being a parent is obviously such a difficult task for her she also has to create a dependent child and false situations. So anyway, we went to the beach and had a BLAST. Ashley completely loved the waves and the ocean and building sandcastles. Pictures attached :) So here's when my brain is today, clearly in this situation regarding this child my husband and myself get no respect from her mom. So when do you stop giving respect when you've never gotten respect? Or is this something you have to suck up as the bigger person and continue to give respect? Let me preface with I've gotten numerous nasty messages from everyone in her mothers family and her mother about me being an evil step mom blah blah BLAH. So is respect something I need to continue to give? Do I kill them with kindness?? Or do I try to do what's best for Ashley and keep my mouth shut and hope she doesn't completely mentally destroy this child? Ashley is now referring to my husband as "daddy hank" which is her mothers boyfriend, sometimes she calls him "daddy mike" and sometimes she calls him daddy. Regardless she's not understanding the importance of the name daddy. So to all my fellow parents out there, When is it time to step up to the plate and demand respect? You guys have a blessed week and stay cool out there!


Here's some links to websites regarding emotional/mental abuse of children. Just a good insight about what not to say to your children!

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/news/articles/2012/07/30/mental-abuse-of-kids-leaves-lifelong-scars

http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/emotional-abuse.html?referrer=https://www.google.com/



Kristen




beach day with the baby!

The fire of a wife getting protective

 

good early morning guys!

I woke up with some fire this beautiful Sunday morning. I got a text from one of the girls moms about me bashing her on Facebook. Let's just be clear, her name was never used and I blocked her so the fact that she's obsessed enough to stalk me speaks volumes. Second of all the context of the post was because my youngest step daughter is being taught to call someone else daddy. Now Mike has joint custody of this little girl has has a court order to see her EVERY weekend. Which is way more than a normal dad is granted. Not to mention every holiday every other year including her birthday. SO. As you can see he's a very involved father and loves her very much. Now with my background and training I'm very well aware about teaching children who people are in her life and the role they play. Otherwise if she's running around calling multiple people "daddy" she gets confused and it diminishes the importance of a daddy. Now there are situations where the father isn't present at all because he's a scum bag. In that situation if the mother remarried and the child calls her husband dad that's great! You've given that child a father figure in their life. That is definitely not our situation. Not only does he pay child support every week to pay for a daycare she doesn't go to, we also pay for extracurricular activities and all of her clothes and shoes. For the most part. When a child shows up in the dead of winter wrapped in a blanket because her mom doesn't have a coat for her, we HAD to buy her a coat. Here's where I'm at, mikes a dad to three beautiful girls. ONE of which who's mother hasn't completely lost her marbles. I'm a very protective wife and I didn't want things overlapping so I stayed out of it. But at what point does that stop? At what point does someone eventually step up and say "look. This is damaging this child. We need to fix it" and then when that is said and the other parent doesn't WANT to fix it because of their own selfishness, what happens then? Courts are messy, trust me I know. Nobody wants to have to take a day off of work, get dressed up and go fight it out in court. When it's so easily fixed between parents. Don't teach the child they have two daddies. And when it's brought to your attention that it's a problem, actually fix it. Don't lie about fixing it. And then don't text me and wonder why I catch an attitude with you. That's all for this early morning, let's go praise Jesus and get back on the right track! Have a blessed Sunday guys!

Kristen

If you're kid is a brat, it's probably your fault.

 


Good afternoon friends!

The other day me and my husband were in the car and he asked me if my followers knew about my background in early childhood education. I told him no that it's not something I just bring up out of the blue. The funny thing is my husband will tell EVERYONE I went to school to be a mom! Cracks me up everytime. Some of my background includes training in early childhood education, I taught at elite pre schools and I was a private nanny for a bit. I do have a lot of experience with kids and my mom taught nursery school for a very long time. I took classes on child abuse, developmental milestones, even cooking with kids. Which is pretty ironic considering the situation we're in now. The courts apparently didn't care how much experience I had with children. So a few months back we sat down with Ashley's mom to discuss the Leigha situation. During this time Ashley had a full blown melt down about a toy she wanted to take home. After throwing herself on the floor, kicking and screaming, and throwing a few fists her moms way my husband and I both looked at each other trying to identify who this kid was! I started dating Michael when Ashley was around four months old so I've had the opportunity to raise her in our home most of her life. She was such an easy baby and she's a fairly easy toddler. We've never had melt downs, she's been in time out MAYBE three times her entire life. We even carted her around bed bath and beyond for two hours when we were registering for our wedding! She just sat happily in the stroller wandering around. Bringing a child up with rules and consequences ensures that child is learning what they need to learn. Letting them do whatever they want is ensuring you're making a crappy politician. You have to take responsibility for the fact that if your kid is a brat, there's a big chance it's your fault. Leigha was the same way (although her situation is very unique). While at our home she cleaned up her mess, enjoyed reading and work books, ate healthy with no problems and did what she was told. But when she went to her mothers house she was a disrespectful child who had a sense of entitlement. Just two very very different environments. The other problem we had with Leigha was that her mother refused to let her grow up. She wanted to keep her a baby because she voluntarily missed the first three years of her life. Giving a child a sense of entitlement is teaching them that they don't have to work for anything in their life and everything should be handed to them. Let's all remember Bernie sanders didn't make it through the primaries for a reason people. Here's my point. Children need to be raised by parents and not friends. You need to teach your child to be independent and know they can do and be whatever they want. You have to teach hem to detach from you and be on their own. Don't teach them to be brats because at the end of the day you play a huge part in how they turn out. Don't tell me that's their personality to be a jerk. They were taught to be a jerk. Now go out there and raise some tiny human beings to make this world better!

Have a blessed Tuesday guys!!

Kristen

The truth about co-parenting as a stepmom

Good morning!

So after this long, LONG weekend I'm feeling a certain type of way as a stepmom. People honestly don't tell you the truth about being a step mom and then it's this huge surprise when you become one and it's not all fairy dust and unicorn kisses. My sister in law was the most honest about it and told me directly that it's probably going to suck most of the time. Not because of the kids, or the husband, but it's going to be the co-parenting. Lord have mercy was she right. Again let me preface with we co-parent very well with Brianna's mom and step dad Corey. Not that we didn't have any bumps in the road ever, trust me we had our disagreements and arguments BUT the point is we were able to be adults and work it out. Because at the end of the day it really is all about the kid, that's not just a cute meme people post on Facebook. Brianna is our only child who knows who her family is, what role they play and that she can feel comfortable loving all of us in her own way. She doesn't ever have to pick who she wants to be around. Unfortunately our other two children don't have it that easily. Let me start by saying this post is about being a step mom and having absolutely no say whatsoever with the child. Seriously. I'm not joking. I can raise that tiny little human being any way I want, in MY home. When she goes to another home, I have on say there. I can only hope they take our advice and really do what's best for her. Again, unfortunately that isn't happening. Ashley showed up with a yeast infection for the second week in a row. Again by Sunday we had it cleared up to ship her back to no mans land (because honestly we have no idea where she lives, crazy right?). In hopes that she comes back without this gnarly yeast infection next week I've found myself SO ANNOYED. Mainly because I can't take care of her during the week like I feel she should be. This is where the little voices in your head scream "YOU'RE NOT HER MOM". seriously though, I'm not. and that SUCKS. Especially because of the environment she's in during the week. I can't scream at her other family, I can't send text messages of concern, I can't even be Facebook friends. It's such a hard thing that nobody tells you about regarding being the STEP MOM and not the REAL mom. Trust me, that gets thrown in your face at least half a dozen times before the sting goes away. Co parenting with someone who doesn't even want to parent is the hardest thing to live with. You get attached to these tiny humans and you want the best for them. Here's the end of this insane rant so I can move on with my week, step parenting is TOUGH and anyone who tells you it's all roses and love notes is lying to you. Right to your face. Step parenting is probably the hardest thing you will ever do, whether the child lives with you most of the time or not. Because at the end of the day you aren't a biological parent. As much as you may have control in your house you don't have control in the child's other home. Just remember your love isn't being diminished because you're a step parent. A step parents love is so amazing because they chose to love when they didn't have to. Have a blessed week guys!

Kristen

Disciplining tiny human beings

Well Sunday afternoon has arrived!


As I sit here After my Jesus loving time with my church family I realized disciplining my tiny little human being is EXHAUSTING. literally. I need a twelve hour nap and a Xanax. During church nursery this little girl as sweet as can be did not actually want to pick up the blocks. She wanted to kick them around and pretend she was half deaf and when she could hear she didn't understand English. I even tried mandarin. So as we get home and she goes down for a nap (thank you baby Jesus) I take some Tylenol and relax for the next two and a half hours. Upon our beautiful child waking up and eating her "wogurt" she decides she wants to color. My mom bought her these awesome markers you can draw on the glass with. So I take he caps off and she sits next to me to draw. Literally I look away for ten seconds and she has the bottom of her foot colored ... How are these tiny humans so quick? After half a dozen times of "don't color on yourself, don't color on the cats, don't color on the furniture" I realize a lesson is to be learned and reluctantly take the markers. I calmly explain to her she cannot color on anything but the glass and she folds her arms and mean mugs me. Like straight up stares me DOWN. Who needs the CIA? Put my toddler in a room and she'll make you WANT to tell the truth with her staring eyes. She decides she's annoyed with me and goes to sit on the stairs. The time out stairs. As if she's putting herself there because she knows it's inevitable if she stays in my vicinity! This crazy little girl takes her time out and is now running around tormenting the cats. In all reality I thank god everyday we got blessed with this little girl because she's nowhere near the handful her sisters have been! Sorry nan! She's relatively calm and cool collected with an even minded self. Her temper tantrums consist of making mean faces at me and not speaking to me for a designated amount of time. But let me tell you, repeating myself four times just to find out she cornered pita in the living room because she "wants pita to have a bath" makes me want to rip my hair out. But at the end of the day discipline will teach children there are consequences for their actions. They have to learn the world does not bow down to them and I have to remind myself I'm raising tiny human beings to be released in the world to not become serial killers. Preferably. When it gets hard and I feel like I'm failing I remember my kid isn't skinning squarrels and sacrificing them to Satan. Which is basically a win right? So my fellow parents, when you feel like you're failing as a parent just remember you created this kid and you're doing a hell of a job raising them because honestly it's HARD. So put yourself together and keep parenting and raising awesome tiny little human beings! Have a blessed Sunday guys!!

Kristen

The scary DODD removal

Good evening friends!

I've recently found myself in an argument over the infamous DODD removal that DCPP uses to legally kidnap your kids. This blog post is to inform my fellow parents of their civil rights because as hard as it is to believe in this day and age you actually do have rights. unfortunately regarding the DODD order your rights go to hell in a hand basket, sorry to say. DODD removal is named after a legislature named Frank J Dodd, a democrat (I mean that one explains itself with the asinine order that was named after him). He really wasn't anyone important, he ended up being a sports fisherman after his political career. I feel that explains the order also. The day they took Leigha they fully believed she was in imminent danger. What does that mean? Nobody knows. It's like the never ending rabbit hole. Where's Alice when you need her? Directions please? Imminent danger goes from case worker to case worker depending on what THEY think imminent danger is. Which is pretty much a load of dog crap lit on fire in a brown bag on your front porch. Don't step on it, just let it happen. More than likely during this DODD removal they'll bring the police as intimidation to not feel the need to hurt these apparently important social workers. In reality it's just public servants protecting other public servants while they legally kidnap your child. Don't be irate, and don't freak out at the police. I can promise nobody has bail money for that. The DODD removal ensures that child protective services can remove your child from your custody in an emergency situation without a court order (because that makes complete sense) and place them in a foster home. In Leigh's situation she was removed later at night and placed in an emergency foster care home with people she didn't know and an outfit my husband scrambled to find in her princess themed room. He ended up packing very little not while four social workers walked around our apartment not even bothering to see the kind of life Leigha lives in this well kept home. While they asked my husband to sign a piece of paper it was only to make sure he had gotten a copy. I still have the order and all it says is they're removing her because of imminent danger. At this point Leigha had told numerous people I didn't touch her and she wanted to stay at home. That clearly didn't matter because the woman who removed her got a cushy $4,000 bonus for removing my child from our home under false pretenses and lies. Here's the situation, if child protective services calls you and tells you they need to speak to your child, politely tell them to go pound sand. They can't question your child without your permission (which they did in our case). child protective services is a bunch of nerds who couldn't get a real job and found an application on indeed.com and said "hey, I could be part of a movement". You're part of a movement alright, it's called human trafficking. After they remove your child as they kick and scream and cry their eyes out, they'll most likely have to pry that bundle of joy from your arms (get the tissues) they'll call you with a court date. They're mandated to provide a court date within two days of the removal to, get this, prove to a judge they removed the chid under actual abuse and they didn't just make it all up. BUT THEY DID JUST MAKE IT ALL UP. because a child TOLD YOU she wasn't being abused by her step mother. Did that matter? No. Because they wanted their bonuses. Don't believe me? State workers paychecks are public record because you know who pays them? YOU. Citizens of this great country are paying social workers to kidnap your kids. This is a sick, sick seventh circle of hell. During this court date you'll either get your kid back, or more likely, not. Here's the thing, don't let them get close enough to want to use the DODD order. They can't talk to your kids, they can't get them to say what they want, IF YOU DON'T LET THEM. The first thing you should always do is threaten THEM with a lawsuit. Tell them if they don't back away from your children (your legal property until they're 18, sorry kiddos) they'll be slapped with a lawsuit. Research your rights. These people are walking time bombs in cheap suits that drive state vehicles for a living. They literally have nothing better to do. If by any chance they do want to remove with a DODD order contact a lawyer immediately to represent you at the first hearing. That first hearing is exactly what you need to drop a bomb at. Unfortunately the state thought it would be legal to "verbally amend" me to the docket when I showed up to support my husband, then proceeded to tell me I had to "be quiet during court" because they refused to grant me a continuance to get myself an attorney. I can name seven of my civil rights that were violated in a very short period of time. This DODD order does grant them permission to remove your child, there is a good chance you can get them back but at that rate they've already spent two days with god knows who, god knows where, doing god knows what. Literally, god only knows. Because if you ask, they'll lie to you. I can't stress enough to research your rights regarding child protective services, because if you don't know them, they'll violate them. And at that point, it's already too late. Again, if any of my readers have any questions i'm more than happy to FaceTime, text message, Facebook message. anything. i'm here to help. now go enjoy your weekend and love on your babies!! I've also added some Facebook profiles to check out if you guys are looking into more of the corruption of child protective services.

www.facebook.com/cpsexposed

www.facebook.com/dyfsexposed

www.facebook.com/cspcorruption


Have a blessed night guys.

Kristen

Legally Kidnapped

The moment you've all been waiting for!

Just kidding, but this is something that hits home with me and it's something parents everywhere need to be made aware of. People picture kidnappers as people in box vans wearing trench coats and have criminal backgrounds, or are pedophiles. While that is a very real thing and that does happen quite often, it's actually more accurate to describe them as people in state vehicles that serve you with papers saying they can take your child without a court order and you can't do anything about it! The unfortunate truth is that New Jersey is one of the top states placing children in foster homes. Nation wide there are more than 463,000 children in foster homes right now, tax payers pay about $22 Billion a year or $40,000 per child every year. Within that entire budget there's about $5 Billion that goes towards KEEPING those children in foster care. Hard to believe? I was you a year ago as they ripped my step daughter from my husbands arm and placed her in multiple different foster homes in a two month period. Which threw her into separation anxiety and PTSD. But that was okay because it "was in the best interest of the child". To take her from the only parents she's ever known her entire life and place her with people she's never met. 

Unfortunately I'm not sure where my rights fall here because my first amendment rights were already violated once during this situation, not to mention my right to an attorney. That was eventful. In the state of New Jersey they've slapped lipstick on a pig and now call DYFS, DCPP. Which stands for legal kidnappers, haha just kidding. It stands for The Division of Children Protection and Permanency. Basically they've been given the right with this DODD order to come into your home and tell you they think your child is in immediate danger and they have to remove under emergency circumstances. No court order, No warning. That's it. On top of that they schedule a hearing for two days after that to determine if DCPP should have removed the child in the first place. Putting the cart in front of the horse much? yeah I think so too. Kids are more likely to age out of the system than be adopted or returned to their loving parents. Now I'm not saying every home is safe, I'm very well aware of pedophiles, sexual abuse, physical abuse and neglect. TRUST ME. I know about neglect. The average is about 3 years a child spends in the system before being returned to their parents. We've had a five month gap between court dates because the state kept asking for postponements just because they could. The turnover rate for caseworkers is incredibly high, they leave in huge groups. We've been through 10 since we started this process in 2014 (even before leigha was taken). We had caseworkers tell us they're nervous about her safety with her mother but refused to testify in court about it. We had some write in reports that her mothers house was not safe for her to have visits in but didn't do anything to stop the visits. We've had some tell us she doesn't have electricity or heat but it was not big deal because it was summer time. Let that one bake your noodle.

Leigha has told caseworkers she's scared of her mothers boyfriend, nobody even batted an eye. We've had Leigha talk about how her mom hits her in the face when she talks about myself or my husband (which the mother later admitted to) and the caseworkers told us they can't tell her how to raise Leigha. But with no proof of actual physical abuse regarding myself or my husband, they snatched her out of my home. On top of the kidnapping the office that took her also got a $4,000 bonus because they put her in foster care. They would get another $6,000 if they adopted her out. Don't believe me? I have their paychecks. That fun little "other" column on their paychecks is their bonuses. The woman who kidnapped Leigha made $15,000 in bonuses in 2015. But what do I know. They contacted leighas schools and her pediatrician to follow up on her "self harm" we claimed she had. They obviously didn't believe a child of four years old could hurt herself. After the schools and the pediatrician (who wrote a letter stating visits with her mother needed to stop because of genuine concern) backed us up about her behavioral issues, they still didn't return her. We actually didn't even get that report until months later. So instead of realizing this child needs help (that we called DCPP for NUMEROUS times for months) they put her in foster care. Where the cops were called on her because of her issues, where she switched numerous homes and we were told it was for "administrative purposes". haha. that cracked me up, I have that gem recorded.

This is only the beginning, for all of you Hillary Clinton supporters DO YOUR RESEARCH. If you have kids and are voting for this felon, you should be aware she's the reason why kids end up in the foster system. She facilitated that with bonuses for kidnapping them in the beginning. You all think all of these kids are abused? Think of Leigha, because right now she's in a bank owned home with no electricity and bed bugs crawling all over her every night. Think about her lack of education happening. Think about the help she actually needs and the help she isn't getting because the government is corrupt. Do your research, or if you don't want to, LOOK AT MINE. My child has been in and out of the system under false accusations because the state wants more money. I'm more than happy to sit down with anyone and go over the FACTS. The beginning of the school year is likely when they're going to question your kids under any pretenses. You think they'll call you to be there when they talk to them? WRONG. They'll go to their school, intimidate their teacher, question them and then take them. Don't let this happen. Bring awareness to this very serious corruption. Feel free to call, text, facebook message, anything. I'll be more than happy to help anyone. this is only the beginning and we've been doing this for a YEAR.

as always, were accepting prayers for our family and Leighas safety every single day. I wish I could be more descriptive about our particular case but again I've already been violated once with my civil rights and I'd rather not have to do that again. Fortunately we do have a judge who seems to have it together and really is looking for justice and is looking for the truth in this situation. He seems very fair and level headed and I can only thank God for providing that to us right now. Also prayers that we get a new court date soon and can end this traumatizing situation shortly. Again, KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!

Kristen