Family is everything

Oh Hey!

So I'm gonna call out my friend Corey here and put him on the spot haha! Corey is married to Becky who is Mikes ex wife. Corey, Becky, Myself and Michael are all relatively close. Corey had text me the other day and said "Me and Becky really love you and Michael. Don't eve think otherwise period". This type of relationship really just makes my whole heart happy. Watching Corey pray over Mike the other day was a really incredible feeling. To know someone cares about you so much, enough to pray over you is love in it's finest. While me and Becky talk about the kids and discuss upcoming events. It's nice to have such a great relationship. Part of this conversation also included us agreeing that there is no "step" or "half" about us, were just family. We get to plan the kids birthday parties and summer events. We have such a big, loving family that it's just easy to get along. And let me tell you it hasn't always been that way. People have to get used to each other, Becky was put through some nonsense when Brianna was little and there were some not so great people in Mikes life. She had to protect her child and when Mike finally moved on from the craziness Becky really had to learn to trust someone. I was new and she had been through some stuff, that's her kid! Now three years later we have this awesome relationship that requires zero effort! I just want everyone to know there is hope. Being a step parent is rough and it's nice to have Corey to know I'm not alone and we all have this under control! And you don't have to be friends to be able to co parent. You really have to understand that even if you don't like each other you can still be good parents. You can teach your child love and not so much hate. You can still teach respect but if you respect each other than your child will also. If all your child see's is craziness and hostility then that's what they're going to learn to project. Raising kids is hard enough, throwing them into the middle of a war is even worse. Telling them they can't tell the other parent something is incredibly harmful. That teaches that child they can't trust that parent, when in reality they can't trust the parent asking the child to keep those secrets! I've never had to tell the kids to keep a secret, and if they say something concerning we just confront each other about it. That keeps an open line of communication, but once you start actively keeping secrets then it becomes a problem. You can raise kids in separate homes and without hostility. Sometimes we've found it takes sitting down face to face and really just hashing out these issues. Whatever the issues may be, communication is usually able to fix them. That's not in every case but we've done that numerous times with Tammy and Becky and sometimes it's a miscommunication or someones feelings were hurt and that was their defense mechanism. It happens, but owning up to what you did or apologizing or simply explaining your feelings really helps things. Once it's out on the table and discussed you can move on and things get so much better. Unfortunately if feelings are deeper on the other side and less about parenting issues and more about "I want him back" issues then that can't be solved. That's something that person has to deal with themselves. Either way open communication is a great start. Whatever biological or step parent you're dealing with maybe you should be the bigger person and ask for an open dialogue one day and get the ball rolling. Sometimes that's all it takes! I hope this helps and you guys have a great Tuesday!


Kristen