The very real effects of heroin abuse during pregnancy

Good morning!

I saw something on social media this morning that kind of hit home for me. For anyone just jumping on board my step daughter Leigha was born addicted to opiates. For anyone reading this that thinks "that isn't true" or "that's hearsay" I have her medical records that were requested legally by her father with proof of this abuse and neglect. She spent 21 days in the NICU at Virtua weening her off of the drugs. This post is just a little insight of what this BABY went through because she was abused while in the womb. People have this very old way of thinking if a child comes out with ten fingers and ten toes that they dodged a bullet. WRONG. Leigha came out perfect physically. Mentally not so much, and nowadays they have the correct equipment and therapy to prove this connection of heroin abuse during pregnancy and the long term effects of it. Kids that have been exposed to heroin in the womb have been proven to not handle stress as well, especially in unstable environments (go figure). 68 percent of children that were exposed to opiates during pregnancy have clear signs that they cannot handle stress in stressful situations, unfortunately drug abuse during pregnancy and an unstable situation usually coincide with eachother. These children also have a higher risk of developing depression, anxiety and ADHD (which Leigha has been diagnosed with) There are studies now that show kids born addicted to these opiates can show behavioral problems well into childhood. Leigha was also diagnosed by her neurologist with ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) which symptoms include self harm (I've given you all the opportunity to read these articles with the websites at the bottom of the page). They have showed that if a child is removed from that stressful situation and was placed into a stable environment that child can thrive in their life. But leaving them in a mentally abusive situation where the child is used as ammunition will continue the damage to this child. It's not surprising that 65 percent of children born addicted to opiates are either held back a grade during elementary school or have to receive special education. In every research article I've read it clearly states that a child left in an environment of addiction with the mother who was and or is addicted compromises the child. Heroin abuse during pregnancy can also cause sleep issues for the child later on in life, that doesn't seem very concerning but when you have a toddler who refuses to go to sleep or can't go to sleep this condition has been linked to the abuse during pregnancy. I want all of my readers to be aware of the very real effects of illegal drug use during pregnancy. Leigha will suffer her entire life with possible addiction problems, behavioral disorders, just to name a few. babies are born addicted to illegal drugs every single day and it's heartbreaking to know that they didn't choose that life. Unfortunately in the state of NJ it is still legal to give birth to a baby born addicted to heroin, there's no criminal charges. Even though you actively tried to kill your fetus, but hey no problem. That's not to say the wonderful kidnappers at DCPP won't get involved but we can all say that division isn't the best people to save a child. The bottom line is these are very real issues for babies born addicted to drugs. It's something that continues to hit home for me all the time. Again, I've cited my sources to this information I've stated in this post if anyone would like to do additional research. There's also signs and symptoms of ODD use for people who don't want to cope with the fact that ODD symptoms do in fact include self harm. Save these children, they don't have voices. They need YOUR voice. fight for them.

Kristen

ODD diagnosis and symptoms:

https://www.gstatic.com/healthricherkp/pdf/oppositional_defiant_disorder.pdf

http://www.livescience.com/28042-meth-moms-babies-stress.html

http://www.crchealth.com/addiction/heroin-addiction-treatment/pregnant-heroin/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1272838/

Step monster: real or make believe?

Good afternoon lovies!

Can we talk about the ridiculousness of step parenting?! Let me preface with this past holiday with Ashley and Brianna were kind of awesome. Their moms were totally accommodating with us to do presents with the girls and have them to celebrate the holidays with. It's an amazing thing when a family can work together for the good of the child. Unfortunately Leigha was a little bit different and it was decided last minute to not allow her to receive her gifts. That unfortunately hurt Leigha more than anything to not get her gifts from her father. But that's just another hurdle we have to jump right? Unfortunately Narcissists and selfish people don't actually take into consideration the children. But the good news is we had Ashley and Brianna and such a fantastic time with them! I can personally say the struggle of a step parent is trying to form that bond with the children as well as forming that bond with the biological moms. That sounds absolutely crazy since i'm supposed to be the step monster right? I'm this horrible person who came into this mans life and married him and took on three kids that I did not give birth to. We never had that "honeymoon" period. Especially since he had Leigha full time. I was terrified of brianna because at the time she was eight and had a complete idea of what was going on. God blessed me with her not being a complete asshole to me and was actually super wonderful at welcoming me into her life. It also helped that her mom and step dad Corey got to know me and realized I wasn't this crazy crackhead that wanted to tear up lives. But they did the right thing and invited me in, i'm not saying we've never had disagreements but when we do it's a conversation. Not an argument threatening child support and court. That's ridiculous. I can honestly say now almost three years later that nobody dreams of being a step mom. You're not a little girl dreaming of growing up and marrying a man who's already been married and had kids and doing it all over again. I can say I've struggled with the fact that I won't have those kinds of firsts with him. But what I can say is it will be a first for US. In a few years we'll have a baby and it will be a completely different experience for him. He won't have to worry about me coming home and stealing diapers and formula and returning them to the store for money for illegal things. He won't have to worry about me not waking up during the night to feed the crying baby. He won't have to worry about me wandering out at all hours of the night to again do illegal activities. I'm a great wife and an even better step mom and hopefully soon to be mom. I'm not this evil wicked step mom from the storybooks, as a matter of fact most step moms are pretty awesome. It's finally come to light that ex wives, ex girlfriends, ex baby mamas, they can all get along with this woman in your childs life. It doesn't have to be this crazy, control freak situation. Who says your child can't love more than one person? Becky and Tammy both know full well they are their childs mother but when they come to my house that's the role I play at my house and it's encouraged. We want the children to feel as if they have this huge family. At the end of the day it's not about you or me, it's about them. And you can bet damn well I have their best interests at heart. I'm glad I could foster a relationship with these women and know the children are growing up in the best possible environments. Don't use your children as a weapon or one day you'll find yourself without ammunition. Do the right thing, be a grown up, take care of your child, be a family. If you're struggling with with a woman that refuses to accept you because she has this jaded idea in her head that he's going to come back to her (like I do), brush it off. He's YOUR husband, he chose YOU. You have that marriage certificate, those diamond rings, that house, he bought YOU that car, that michael kors purse, that new ipad. You're the one he sleeps next to every single night. Trust me, that's hard to wrap your head around but it's true. So go ahead and be that awesome step mom, don't let people bring you down to be that wicked step mother that puts children in ivy towers. Keep doing what you do best, raise those babies. Form that relationship. Keep that bond. Blend your family. Love. Have faith and pray to God everyday that he keeps blessing your family. 

Have an awesome new years guys! See you in 2017!!

Kristen

Do you know how frustrating this is?!

Good morning step parents!


Can I just tell you how frustrating it is to try and break through glass ceilings? It has come to my attention that I have a new audience of people who don't particularly enjoy me but they keep clicking on my page ;) So enjoy! Life currently as a step mom involves me wrapping four million presents for all the kids, family, husband, cat and what not. It also has me continuously working out to avoid stress in my life, preparing to take the kids to places, planning Ashley's birthday, and attending holiday parties. We actually DO go to holiday parties, we don't just say were going to cover up the bigger picture. Were going to my mother in laws for Christmas eve which is pretty exciting. Both of our families are going to be there for games and fun and just an awesome family gathering. We also recently got Leigha this awesome coat that's a three in one coat. It has the hood and the fleece inside and then the weather resistant coat on the outside and cute little hat and gloves to go with it. Someone has to keep her warm in the winter! Let me tell you, we have the heat on full blast in our house and it's COLD outside. I've been making really "homey" comfort meals lately. We did Chili in the crock pot the other day and it was delicious. Last night we did asparagus and pork chops in the air fryer. This air fryer was such an amazing purchase you all have to look into it. We fry everything in there and with my weight loss I'm very on top of what I eat all the time. This uses NO oil whatsoever. The pork chops were juicy on the inside and super crisp on the outside. I'm pretty strict with the kids and their sugar intake, Leigha was always gluten free and sugar free and it reigned in her ADHD pretty well. I was told I was making her into a robot by watching her diet haha which is rather funny because now they have a place called "Brain Balance" which basis their entire sessions off of clean eating and educational therapy. That's what I did for YEARS with Leigha and it would work for the most part until outside situations affected her. So this place can charge $11,000 a year for their sessions and I did it for free, but I was making her into a robot. Welp, someone was doing something right then! All I can say is Ashley fully enjoys her organic meals and organic yogurt with ice water. She doesn't ask for juice or milk, she doesn't want sugary snacks or candy. Not to mention she's fully aware we don't have any of that stuff in the house. But she does know we have fruits, veggies, water and yogurt which she will always ask for. Little kids are completely amazing to raise and they go with what they're taught. I'm not saying Ashley isn't a threenager at some points but what I am saying is we taught the girls respect. Leigha always asked to be excused from the table, she always ate her dinner (we had no eating problems which from what i'm aware seems to be an issue now), she was perfectly fine with ice water and no candy or sugar. The great thing about that is she never had cavities! Until she was introduced to candy constantly from an outside source and she did get one cavity that I had filled immediately. Now unfortunately she has numerous ones. I really try to prevent the girls from having struggles that I had growing up. There are so many medical break throughs and education now on food intake and children and how to prevent childhood obesity. There's so many more options for ADHD than adderall which is a significant drug that really shouldn't be taken by children. What I can say about being a step mom in the life that I'm in right now is that I will fight for these girls like they're my own. I don't care who I have to go through or what lawsuits need to be filed but I can tell you yesterday lit a fire underneath me and I'm going to bring an end to all the corruption and abuse happening. The girls may have no come from me but I can say I have a great relationship with two of their mothers and tried to make a relationship with the other. It should always be about the children and their well being and their mental status. Brianna fully enjoys that we can get together as a family with her mom and step dad and really communicate and enjoy time together. Ashley is also the same way, we don't have to worry about useless nonsense and fighting. Medical necessities are communicated constantly, what's happening with the children including school is always communicated with Ashley and Briannas moms. That's how co-parenting works, you communicate openly. About vacations, medical, educational. Everything, just because you're not with the other parent doesn't mean communication shuts down and you shut the other parent out. It means you have open lines, especially when there's other step parents involved. Step parents don't have to be hated, hell ... ex wives don't have to be hated! Nor do ex girlfriends, but when there is a special mental disability happening that prevents the other parent from accomplishing what is in fact in the best interest of the child that bears the brick wall nobody ever wants to run into. So at the end of this wonderful day I'm communication that everything in fact needs to be in the best interest of the child.

Have a wonderful week guys!

Kristen