How to potty train and keep your sanity!

How it's only Wednesday is beyond me, I'm exhausted! I recently read an article about potty training and it literally took me to a flashback of the last year of my life. My youngest step-daughter is about to be FOUR! A month after she turned two I was completely over diapers and ready to potty train. The great thing was, so was she! Her sisters are older and went to the bathroom by themselves and she showed every indication that she also wanted to go! Now let me preface with we have her every weekend so on those days we were actively potty training and then during the week it wasn't happening. I don't know about you but when I was over diapers, I was OVER it. 

So even though my situation was a tad bit different on potty training with this little princess I wanted to jot some ideas down for you all on potty training tips and techniques. You can also sign up to get my full comprehensive list of the dos and donts of potty training! It's my entire list of what we used, how long it took and what didn't work for us. So make sure you sign up for that little gem! Happy potty training!

1. First off, we bought a potty seat. Which is kind of awesome, you'll hear older generations complain about them but seriously. Where was this when I was a kid? I would have had a lot less wet butts if we had this. We got one like this Princess Potty Seat and it was cheap and we just plop it on there when she needs to go and it helps. Especially when she's tired! It also makes it fun for them to go because they get to use their special potty seat! You can always get a potty like this to sit in front of the TV, I sort of wish I would have done that originally. Now I know!

2. Get your rewards! We seriously started with full-sized Hershey kisses and after the second sugar high, we quickly downgraded to Hershey chips LOL! We also did rewards stickers that she got to put on a chart every time she went on the potty. They helped out a lot and also made it fun to decorate her chart.

3. Shop for underwear! The word panties freaks me out with little girls, I know I'm weird! Anyway, you can go buy any kind of underwear your princess wants! I got these for Ashley and she loved them! You can always take them shopping with you to make the experience exciting for new things! Little boys are definitely excited for ninja turtles or whatever they may be into! Just make sure they know they cannot pee in them!

4. Be consistent. My biggest problem was that Ashley wasn't getting consistency at both of her homes. So we were potty training and they were putting her in a diaper. That went on for almost a year when Ashley literally just figured out where she can pee on herself and where she can't. That was terrible. Make sure even when it gets hard you're continuing the potty training! That way they get used to it and it becomes more habitual!

These are just a FEW of my awesome tips and tricks for potty training your kid! Make sure you enter your email to get my full list on how to make potty training easy and save your sanity!

binky or no binky?

I'm almost positive I barely made it through this week! Goodness Gracious Alabama. SO I was recently part of a blogger group that discussed different aspects of parenting and the pros and cons of different things and one of the issues was pacifiers. Now if you know anything about me you know I HATE pacifiers, to the moon and back I hate those things. Now that's my opinion nor do I judge anyone who gives their child a pacifier. To each, his own and that's how the cookie crumbles right? I've touched on this subject subtly before but with this focus group I think it was a great way to touch on the pacifier again, I'd also like any feedback from people who have used pacifiers and also have pros and cons of using them! 

Pros:

1. The American Academy of Pediatrics has seen a drop in SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) in children that have used pacifiers. Although during my research they seemed to be back on forth on this and a little hypocritical. In one sentence they say it reduces SIDS but at the same time, they say that babies don't sleep as soundly when they have a pacifier. You're also encouraged not to use a pacifier while breastfeeding so I feel like there's pro's and cons within this one as well.

2. Pacifier use helps your child with their sucking if they have issues from birth. Some children have an issue when they're born and have to be taught how to suck so they can eat properly. A pacifier is a great way to encourage this behavior and help a child. Babies that are born addicted to drugs tend to have an issue learning how to suck because of the withdrawal and pacifiers help this. The First Years Pacifier helps with this issue and is soft like a nipple so its meant to teach the baby how to suck.

3. Babies that have acid reflux tend to use pacifiers because it encourages saliva production which helps neutralize acid in the stomach. I had zero idea that this was a pro until I did my research so I'll be keeping this in mind for when our little one is born! This binky claims to not affect how their teeth form as long as it's taken by the age of 1.

Cons:

1. Pacifiers are linked to higher rates of ear infections. Ashley had a MASSIVE amount of ear infections while she was at an infant age. I'm talking 8 in 10 weeks. Constantly. While having the binky she was also constantly exposed to second-hand smoke which is also a risk factor for ear infections. (let me preface with my husband and I don't smoke but you can only control what goes on at YOUR home right?).

2. Pacifiers create massive dental problems. This is such a problem it's not even funny. Again as co parents, you can only control what goes on at your house but Ashley is four and still gets a pacifier at her other home and her teeth are JACKED. Like she'll need severe orthodontal work it's insane. When I was little I was a thumb sucker and by the age of maybe 3 (correct me if I'm wrong mom) my mother was constantly telling me to take my thumb out because it had turned into a habit and could have created massive dental issues. Thank God for my mom because I have gorgeous teeth now! 

3. It can interfere with breastfeeding. It's encouraged not to breastfeed and use a pacifier. Breastfeeding can also reduce the risk of SIDS and help a baby sleep more soundly so there's really no need for a pacifier if you're breastfeeding. But not everyone is able to breastfeed so that's something you have to decide based on the situation. This pacifier is recommended by pediatricians to use if you are breastfeeding and your baby still requires a pacifier. The rounded nipple shape helps with less confusion.

4. Pacifiers become a crutch. They absolutely do, when Ashley's pacifier gets taken (she's almost four) right before she comes to our house she screams like the demons are coming straight from hell, it's incredible. BUT that's a con of getting a child used to a pacifier and then not yanking it at an appropriate age. She's now used to this pacifier and wants it for comfort reasons or habitual reasons. We took it from her before she was a year old, probably around 9 or 10 months old. She's never ever asked for it because she knows we don't have one at our house. We did it early enough so that it wouldn't create this form of chaos. So if your child does get a binky, do yourself a favor and take it before it gets incredibly hard.

These are just a few of the pros and cons I've researched about. Ultimately unless the situation occurs that a pacifier will genuinely help my child with a medical issue, I think i'll leave the binky out of my life. And pacifiers are great for the first year of life if needed but if you don't take it, prep for the reoccuring meltdowns for a week when they get attached. Everyone has their own opinion and way of parenting and that's totally fine! Let me know of your pros and cons of binky use! 

Kristen

*There are affiliate links in this blog post and I do make a commission off of them. The opinions and products in this blog post are solely mine and I would not promote a product if I didn't back it completely*

How to raise an introverted child

As I write this blog this morning I'm thinking of both my step daughters who are very clearly different. Ashley who is going to be four very shortly ( I don't know how that happened ) is our extrovert child. She's outgoing, will talk to anyone and play with anyone. She's the light of the room all the time, ultimately she's my spitting image. I'm a marketing representative for a hospital and that's my personality. My beautiful soon to be twelve year old is a spitting image of her father. She's very introverted, doesn't feel the need to be the center of attention or be around people all of the time. She's a very polite, well raised child who likes to be alone most of the time. These girls are the sunshine in my day and today I want to touch base with you guys on how to raise an introverted child in an extroverted world. Here's some tips I hope help!

1. Do not be ashamed to be an introvert.

Don't make kids feel bad for not wanting to be the center of attention. Or being overly shy in situations. Sometimes with introverted kids they don't want to do things that other kids would do normally. Your job as their parent is to make them feel comfortable enough to go into the world and not feel weird about being an introvert. Some kids like big crowds, some don't. Either way is okay.

2. Give them some time by themselves.

This one I've been picking up lately with Brianna. She's twelve so it's already an age where when they say "leave me alone" that's genuinely what they mean. There's no hidden message now. Introverts tend to need time by themselves to recharged. My husband is also an introvert who does well in social situations now but even at home he's more likely to choose a movie night at home with me and the kids than a night out somewhere. It's just who he is and I'm trying to conform and understand him so I can give him that time by himself. Even if he needs to just go wash the car or sit in the room for a bit. When Brianna gives me an answer or just wants to be quiet on the ride home, I have to be cool with that.

3. Assist them on how to express their feelings properly

So if you know my husband, you know he doesn't do feelings. like ever. The only raw emotion I can get from him is anger, sometimes sadness if something is really bad. Brianna is the same way, I could tell her we got tickets for 21 pilots and she'd give me a smile LOL! That's about all the excitement you'll get out of her, and that's okay. My job is to teach her how to express feelings regularly. If you feel you're being bullied I have to teach her how to speak up for herself. She just said to me the other day sometimes she can't say no to people because she's too nice. My job is to teach her how to be able to say no politely and walk away. Introverts tend not to like confrontation so they don't deal with it. 

4. Arrange more play dates instead of group activities

Michael does really well at parties now but he wasn't always that way. And like her dad, Brianna does really well in smaller groups. Where Ashley can go to a party with thirty grown ups and hold conversations with all of them. Arrange more smaller group activities for your introvert, this makes them feel more in control and tend to engage socially better this way. When introverts get older they still need to be able to function in society, so after school clubs are a great way to get them involved in social activities that aren't like a coming out party to them.

5. Talk to the school and their teachers

Sometimes kids get lost in the crowd. School is a great place for introverts as ironic as that sounds. It gets them involved socially with other children and puts them in situations where they're required to problem solve. Just make sure the school and their teachers know she's a bit shy and introverted and putting them on the spot makes them nervous. Once the teachers know how a child is they're better off working around a child and working them into certain things. Tween and teenagers have it tough to begin with. Make it a bit easier for them!

I hope some of this helps with your introverted kids! Introvert, Extrovert, doesn't matter! You can help your child succeed in life as long as you're willing to listen to your child and really help them in whatever they want!

Kristen

To my tween daughter ... you are perfect

So ... in a few short weeks my oldest will be TWELVE. She's my wonderful step daughter and I met her when she was a wee eight years old. In the past three years I've watched her grow into such an awesome person. So not only is she turning twelve on September 7th, she also goes back to school September 7th! This is her 7th grade year and I'm almost positive her mother is going to have a coronary. We've been blessed enough to raise this child with two moms and make it clear to her who her family is. To be honest .. I think she'd prefer two moms LOL! Anyway, so in light of her starting her 7th grade year shortly and turning twelve, here my love is a letter telling you all about how wonderful YOU are and how life is going to throw you lemons. I'm going to teach you how to throw them back ;)

1. You're perfect.

Now I don't mean to make this about you being big headed but I am telling you that you are a wonderful tiny human being. You're at such a beautiful age where the world is dark and scary but at the same time you pick the flowers that make it beautiful. You are a spitting image of your mom mom and you're so lucky for that. You're smart, and witty and your banter with me makes me laugh thinking about it. You're quick with your comebacks and you have such a soft heart. I want you to know in my eyes you are perfect and no matter what happens, I've got your perfect back!

2. People are going to suck, and I'm sorry.

As you enter into 7th grade you've become very well aware that some people do in fact suck. We've had this conversation recently but I want to reiterate to you that they do suck. They're going to continue to suck. As you get into your 7th grade year this will be continue to be true and I want you to walk away from people like this. Always give people the benefit of the doubt but if it's a continued behavior ... continue to walk away from it. I'm sorry you have to deal with people that suck but that will be your entire life and my job my dear is to tell you how to give those people the middle finger and realize you're better than that.

3. Learn how to problem solve

So I'm sorry to say your father at 33 years of age is still struggling to problem solve. We all remember the cookie incident of 2017. But you are brilliant and wonderful and can accomplish anything. There are going to be times where you're in a situation that isn't ideal and you're going to learn how to solve the problem. You're step mama over here got stuck on the turnpike once without money to get OFF the turnpike. yup. that happened. Don't tell Nana. But I problem solved and got money from a nice stranger to get off the turnpike. Those situations will prepare you for the rest of your life and you will appreciate the times you get stuck and have to get out.

4. Don't ever let someone bully you.

Believe it or not I was bullied most of my high school career :( Yeah. It sucked. I won't lie. And nana was great and stood up for me and let me try and handle what I could. I think I was much less aggressive than I am now and didn't learn that until my late twenties. Either way I want you to stand up for yourself in every single situation. Even if it's with me, mommy or daddy. If something is happening that you don't agree with, let me hear your voice banana. Let me hear what your thoughts and emotions and opinions are. If something is happening to you and someone is bullying you, speak! Tell them to fuck off, or tell me and I'll tell them to fuck off. Don't let people walk all over you and use you. You my darling are made to be incredible and you should let people treat you as such.

5. Put down the electronics

SO fun fact ; your step mom didn't have a cell phone until she was FIFTEEN. And when I did get a phone you had to hit the letter P FOUR times to get the letter you wanted. I didn't have the ipad or anything and when I connected to the internet on the computer it made a terrible sound. Seriously. I know that you love snap chat and facebook and whatever it is you do, but don't lose your childhood through the phone. Also the whole people sucking thing tends to happen over social media. Remember people get ballsy when they don't have to say it to your face. So make sure you take time to memorize your sisters favorite song, or what it sounds like when your dad gets home. Just take this in, because one day you'll be old like me and wish you could go back. 

6. Watch your weight, but don't make it a thing.

This is such a touchy subject but I'm going to say it. Hormones are going to tear your body apart. We teach you healthy choices because it's eventually going to matter. I don't want you to end up at 27 years old, 257 pounds and hating yourself. And the people who call you fat, or piggy, or make oink sounds. Because shitty people do shitty things. Just take in healthy options while you have the chance to teach yourself and you'll stay just as perfect as you are.

7. Don't compare yourself to other people.

Seriously, everybody is different. There was a girl in my middle school who we all thought had big boobs and hated her for it. Turns out when we got to high school and grew into our boobs, hers sucked! Some people won't have to work at all to get an A in math, some people (like me) will work as hard as they can and still not do as good. That's life and that doesn't diminish your shine at all. I promise. Everyone can be wonderful in their own way! I'm a fantastic writer who's created this awesome brand, daddy knows more about politics (as were all well aware of). So just find your niche. Whatever you choose to do, be amazing at it.

The point is, twelve is a tough age. And unfortunately sunshine it gets worse before it gets better. I was 25 before it got better and I met your dad. I made some bad choices and I made some good ones. I want you to know we respect your wishes and when you ask for something. You're becoming a grown up and we are going to treat you as such. Just know you are a wonderful tiny human being and I'm so insanely blessed to be your step mom. I cant wait to celebrate your birthday with you and continue to watch you grow into something absolutely incredible. You my love are the sunshine in my life. I love you banana cakes. 

Your probably super crazy embarrassing Step Mom.

Blogger Recognition Award

Hey! and happy Tuesday! Because I know you're all just so excited not to be at least halfway through the week! But on this glorious Tuesday I have received the "Blogger Recognition Award"! I was nominated by For the Sake of Good Taste! Make sure you click on her link and check out HER wonderful blog! I wanted to thank everyone for the nomination AND the award! 

My blog started a few years ago just as a step mom blog that detailed the INSANE nonsense that was happening in my life. I was going through a lot with my family and I felt documenting it for other parents and step parents to know about made people feel like they weren't so alone. It wasn't until recently I began really branding myself and making The Wonderful Life of a Step Mom a brand! 

As a new blogger I had ZERO idea what I was doing and was really just winging it. My advice to someone who wants to blog would be to go on pinterest and research EVERYTHING. There's so many different blogs you can have so you really need to look into what kind of blog you want and what you want out of it. Do you want to make money? Do you want to just have fun? Find what you want and what time you have to give and go from there. I would also suggest finding a niche and this is super popular advice. Whether it's travel blogging, family, fashion, whatever. I hit a little bit of all with my blog since it's family oriented, find your niche and stick with it :)

I really appreciate this award and can't wait to see what the future brings me! Thanks to all of my followers and my awesome support system I have. I really love what I do with this brand and I'm so glad I can help others in their trials and tribulations. Have a wonderful day everyone!

Beautiful Williamsburg Virginia

Hey, happy Thursday!! A little while back I and my husband went down to the beautiful state of Virginia! We both love history so much and were always looking for fun places to take the kids. We stayed at the Comfort Inn in Williamsburg Virginia. 

Williamsburg Virginia is one of the top tourist destinations and is also an awesome place for families! I and Michael like to scope things out before we take the kids because we don't want to stay in a bad hotel or find out there really is not that much to do that the kids would enjoy. We pulled up outside the cozy Comfort Inn hotel located right on the gateway and literally fifteen minutes from any of the attractions. They're also conveniently located within five minutes of two Walmart stores which ended up being super convenient considering I left my ENTIRE makeup bag back in New Jersey! They were also right in the circle of multiple shopping centers and restaurants so you didn't have to eat in the heart of Williamsburg if you didn't want to.

We were really excited to stay in this particular hotel and got even more excited when we checked in. Michael brought our bags in and sat them down on their beautiful marble floor and the concierge behind the counter was one of the nicest people I've ever met. Once we checked in they gave us the key to our room and up we went! Let me clarify that this was our honeymoon and it was the day after our wedding and they upgraded us for free to the only suite they had! It was such an awesome thing to know we had this entire suite to ourselves and man was it beautiful! The room had a sitting area when you first walked in equipped with microwave and refrigerator. It also had another area with a couch that turned into a full sized bed with a TV directly in front of it. This suite is perfect for families as this is a separate room from the master. The kids can have their entertainment in one room and Mom and Dad have privacy in the other! 

The master bedroom had a wonderful king sized bed with a TV in front of it, a computer desk and two spaces that served as closet space. This was really convenient even though it was only two of us because we had packed so many clothes for the week. It's even better for families if you want to unpack for the week, there is plenty of space for the kid's stuff as well. The bathroom had double sinks with tile floor and a wonderfully large shower! The space in this suite was really worth it and would absolutely not feel cramped at all for a family of four (that would be us!). This was a Comfort Inn and we had never stayed at one before but staying in this suite for the time we did really make us feel as if we were in a high-end hotel! The bed had clean fitted sheets on them with more pillows than you can imagine and boy does my husband LOVE pillows, also the king size bed makes you feel like you have more space than a space shuttle. 

I've mentioned the location before and it really was absolutely perfect. The mere fact that I had to buy makeup essentials and didn't have to drive forty-five minutes to buy them was incredible. We visited Williamsburg, Jamestown, and Yorktown and it didn't take us more than 15 minutes to get anywhere. We could go out for a few hours and still come back to eat in town if we wanted to. If you're going to stay at a hotel for a great price you're going to want to stay at this Comfort Inn. There's a free buffet breakfast included in your stay and my husband tends to be up at 5:30 in the morning for some ridiculous reason but the breakfast was always full and we never had to wait for anything. Every thing was very clean and fresh. Between the amenities and the location of this Comfort Inn, if you're taking the family down to see historic Williamsburg this is THE PLACE you're going to want to be. If you found this review to be helpful I would suggest booking directly through the Comfort Inn Website. They run great deals and have a little notes section in case you want to tell them it's your honeymoon!

What's in your makeup bag?

As my brand has grown bigger I've finally developed my niche! As well as my parenting side of my blog I also like to update about engagements, weddings, makeup and all the fun stuff! As a mom there are many times on the weekends where I find it totally acceptable to just throw my hair back, put my abercrombie sweats on and walk out the door. That's usually at 7am when I have to take the dog to the vet. But other days like at my job when I have to look presentable and when we go out as a family I really clean up well! So here's a list of some skin care and makeup must haves that are in my bag! Have fun! (Note: The links are affiliate links and I get a commission from them but I do not endorse anything on here I wouldn't recommend completely)


1. Liquid Foundation
So at the ripe age of 18 when I didn't need makeup I looked like a disaster. Fast forward ten years and I have laugh wrinkles which are awesome but I also have skin that I'd like to make look photoshopped! I discovered liquid foundation and how to use it when I was about 25 and finally found the Maybelline Mousse Foundation probably a year ago. It matches my skin perfect and makes it look airbrushed but doesn't clog my pores or sit in my lines on my face. You can find it here and it's a great price! 


2. Eyeliner
Now you can either do liquid liner or pencil liner. I have the Maybelline unstoppable liner. Liquid liner is definitely more precise but in my case I have zero dollars most of the time and I can't use liquid on the bottom part of my eye. If you do use liquid I would suggest this one from Maybelline. I know I use them a lot but I have sensitive skin and their product line doesn't irritate me or give me styes. Yuck! Either way I've been using eyeliner forever and I'm pretty sure I look sick and or tired without it.


3. Powder Foundation
I was never really one for all the foundations until I turned 28 and I've been getting my Ipsy bag for a while now. Anyway on top of my liquid foundation I use a powder foundation to set my look and make it look more matte and less shiny. I use BelláPierre Cosmetics Banana Setting Powder. It's a little more expensive but I really like it. It matches my skin tone and really sets my makeup for the day. It doesn't settle into my lines or anything and covers really well.

4. Eyebrow filler
Sooooo my eye brows suck. like bad. like .. thanks dad. I've finally at the ripe age of 28 learned how to contour my brows and shape them perfect. But they're also getting thinner and they're a little lighter. So I use the Maybelline Eye Brow Filler. I've used a couple different ones in the past but this has something in it that literally fills in our brows so they look darker and fuller. It does amazing things. It won't run or smudge even with water. My makeup remover takes it off at night with no issues though. It's inexpensive and lasts FOREVER.

5. Mascara
So again thanks dad for my crappy eyelashes. and allergies. Anyway, I have bad eyelashes. So I use an eye brow curler and then my mascara. Again with the Maybelline. I use this one and it makes my eye lashes look SUPA thick. But not clumpy and it separates as you go. So you don't look totally ridiculous or spidery. It's never given me styes and I can tell you I get them like it's going out of style. 

6. Makeup Remover
Not all makeup removers are the same TRUST ME. I've tried different ones that left my skin feeling oily and it was gross. I now use Burts Bees makeup remover. They have different scents that make you feel refreshed like you actually took the whole day off your face. It removes all of my makeup, oils, everything. I love it. And it's natural!

7. Wash your face!
I learned the hard way when you don't take your makeup off and wash your face you get styes and giant pimples that resemble small children. Berts bee's has always been good to me so I got their brightening face wash. It removes all the dirt and oil and even the white and black heads. Makes my face feel so much better when I'm done. I've never had an issue with it. I also use their astringent. This one is gentle on my face and doesn't tear it up with alcohol. All natural baby! Their entire line of skin care is highly recommended.

8. Last but not least ... lotion!
I've gone back and forth with lotions for years. I have normal skin and my regular routine would be get out of the shower and lotion everything up. Then I got tired of doing it. Then I found Jergens in shower body lotion! Man is this a life saver. When I'm done with everything I just put it on wet skin and it keeps me solid forever. I shower every other day and have never had an issue with itchiness. And it smells SUPA good. Just go buy it now because it's going to be worth it. I promise. You don't feel oily, or sticky. You don't have to rinse it off at all. Besides the Lush products, this is absolutely amazing.


I hope diving into my makeup bag a bit has helped you guys also! It takes a while to find brands you like at a good price, sometimes you have to pay more than you want but it's worth it. Check out those items and let me know what you guys think!

First things to do after you get engaged!

So it was in 2014 that I met my now husband Michael. We met in April of 2014 and that same month his crazy butt asked me to marry him! I obviously told him no for MONTHS because who does that?! But he was cute and a great guy and a good dad but after we moved in together I knew it would happen. He proposed in February of 2015 and we were married in October of the same year! After we got engaged a FLOOD of things went through my mind. I'd never been engaged before and I was JUST 26, I had ZERO idea what I was doing. Recently (or not so recently) my sister in law got engaged! Shout out Mel! (check out her ring at the bottom of this post!). SO with engagement on my mind and how I miss wedding planning, here are some things to keep in mind for when you get engaged! (Note: this is a sponsored post with affiliate links)



1. Take pictures of your engagement!
Seriously. All the pictures you can, of the ring, of your man, of you two together! I picked out my engagement ring and Michael bought it for me. He told me it was delayed in shipping so I wouldn't have it for MONTHS. Which in my mind meant no proposal! I know were not conventional. Anyway, when I got home that night he had ROSE PEDALS going all the way up the stairs! When I got up there, there he was down on one knee, my ring in his hand! Hits ya in the feels right? He also had candles, wine and snacks! So take the pictures of the scene, you'll want those forever. And your ring will probably never be that clean again LOL.

2. Call your family!
With the millennial generation upon us, make sure you CALL YOUR FAMILY. He should have asked for your dads permission (Mike did!) but call and tell them! Call his parents, your parents, grandparents, your friends. After everyone has been properly informed, THEN post to social media.

3. Now go post!
Go post all your pictures to social media! I've attached some of mine from when we got engaged which seems like FOREVER ago. But they really mean a lot to me!

4. Pick a date
This seems ridiculous but you need to know WHEN you want to get married, what season, what weather. I wanted an October wedding and didn't want to wait until 2016 so my wonderful parents gave me whatever I wanted, including my date! That was 8 months and boy did they bust their butts. Picking a season is easier than a date, we could only pick our date based on when the venue was available. And that's how we got October 18th!

5. Book your venue
This could not be any more important. FIND YOUR VENUE! We got booked at A touch of class in Delran New Jersey. They were so fantastic, we went in and toured it all and smelled their awesome food. My father sat in the corner with his black card waiting for his prompt to hand over the payment LOL! Seriously, find a place that you're going to love. This will be your party!

6. Find your Photographer/Videographer
We used Jill Lynn Photography. She did our engagement and wedding photos. You have to find someone you like otherwise you'll be super disappointed. We used Film Photo Studios (which I happen to be the marketing director of, so enjoy that link) and again they did a FANTASTIC job. You have to find these guys quickly because the good ones always book up FAST.

7. Pick your wedding party!
I had a small wedding party which was totally cool with me since I don't enjoy people that often. But you have to get these guys early because wedding season will be upon you! You need time to go out and get their dresses and shoes and accessories! Believe it or not that takes a while, I went with my girls separately so I could pay attention to them individually. I had one girl in silver and one in purple (My wedding colors) and they were BEAUTIFUL. It does take time and they do have to pencil you into their schedules with the planning! I got these bridesmaids cards from Etsy. Super cute and easy!

8. Go pick your wedding dress!
I went to the Curvy Bride in Manalapan (say that ten times fast) and they were INCREDIBLE. I absolutely loved them. They were so attentive to me and my wants and needs. At that time I was a little bigger (about 100 pounds bigger) than I am now and they were so gracious to me. I tried on six dresses, my mother cried each time until I found the ONE. I said yes to the dress! Once you find the dress, get ready for fittings every month! I added sleeves to mine so I was constantly there with fittings and things. I was very picky (and expensive!) with my dress. Thanks daddy!

9. Don't forget your wedding colors
Every wedding has a theme right? Mine was DEFINITELY a princess theme, and boy did I fill that role WELL! I wanted a fall theme but not completely fall. I also wanted purple and silver incorporated. My poor wedding party and mother, I specifically remember asking my mother for cotton candy for the candy bar. That's the only time she told me no LOL! I've attached some pictures of what I did for my wedding if you want ideas! 

10. Last but not least ... The details!
There ARE SO MANY FRIGGIN DETAILS in a wedding and someone is constantly asking you about them. HOLY CRAP. I needed to find hair and makeup. I ended up doing my makeup by myself. I used This maybelline foundation and it worked like a CHARM. I also bought this NYX matte lip color for a nice soft look. they both stayed put all day and didn't have to reapply. You get your nails done, you buy your shoes, the whole bit. I ended up wearing flats similar to these for most of the day but also had heels for need be. You need your garter, your toss bouquet, your real bouquet. It's not a joke! 



I hope these help any of you engaged girls! Let me know what your ideas were for after you got engaged! Also here's a picture of my GORGEOUS sister in laws ring! Jelly! love you Mel!

Note: This post contains Affiliate links and I will receive a compensation for the links although I do not post anything that I don't stand behind completely.

The Best Discipline Techniques (that actually work!)

We've all been there right? It's Saturday and you're kids are being the biggest jerks they could possibly be and you're pretty sure your life is about to turn into the Lord of the flies? yup. So a few months ago Ashley started this thing where she knew she could push her limits BUT she would weigh whether or not it was worth getting in trouble for! This lasted a very short amount of time and it's really hilarious to think about it now. I was doing laundry one time and she kept giving my side glances and dirty looks. I'm pretty sure I'd told her she can't eat the cat poop. I know I know step monster! SO I told her if she kept looking at me that way she'd find herself in time out. WELL LET ME TELL YOU. She shot me the DIRTIEST look and then proceeded to put HERSELF in time out. Mhm. Sat her baby butt right at the top of my stairs and I can tell you she legit thought it was worth it! So this got me thinking about methods of discipline that work and don't work, so lets hear it already!


1. Stop talking shit.
Seriously. Shut up. If you're not going to step up and take action, quit talking shit because you're kids can smell bullshit a mile away. If they're jumping on the couch and you've told them once to stop, go over there and remove them from the couch. If they're blowing bubbles in their cup and won't stop, take their cup. If you don't follow up with consequences they'll think you're full of shit. 

2. Do Nothing.
I know you think I'm crazy because this is the opposite of what I've just said BUT different situations right? I can't tell you how many times I've said to Ashley "don't do that you're going to get hurt" and her quick response is "No I not, I okay". mhm. To that I just let her figure it out herself! If she falls and scrapes her knees now she knows for the future to listen. As long as it isn't life threatening let them realize that jumping in puddles gives you wet feet and that sort of sucks a lot.

3. Logical Consequences
Kids have to learn consequences for their actions, this also teaches them responsibility. If they'd like to continue to play with their puzzle they have to show you they can put it back where it belongs when they're done. If they want to play in their room they have to prove they can clean it up when they're done. I've done this with Ashley for years and at four years old this chick can put away her own laundry. If they can't clean up their room then they don't get to take things out. They'll quickly learn the results of things.

4. Problem Solving
This used to drive me crazy when I would see parents doing things for their kids. Ashley will constantly say things like "I can't do this" and it kills me because she can. If they get into a situation, let them figure it out! I have Ashley problem solve all the time, this also builds self confidence that they CAN do what they set their mind to! Just have patience :)

5. "When" and "Then"
This is great for kids. It teaches them results of things. I can't force my kids to go wash their hands before dinner but I can tell them clean hands are required for dinner! This ensures that they realize when they do something, then they get something. When you clean your room THEN you can go play in your sand box. 

6. Offer Choices
This goes for different ages but it does work out well. When a child gives you a hard time about what they want to wear, give them TWO choices. Set out two outfits for them to pick from. Ultimately you're making a choice but they feel the power of decision making. I offer Ashley two different options for breakfast and lunch giving her the power of decision. 

7. Positive Time Outs
I can honestly tell you I have no idea when the last time Ashley was in time out. I've raised a pretty decent human being in my home and nothing she ever does warrants a time out to be honest. She's always well behaved in public and even when she catches an attitude at home she's okay BUT when she has had to be in time out it's usually to calm down. If they're hysterical you need to make this a positive thing at the end. I go up to her and ask her why she believes she's in time out. We go over why what she did was not okay and we end with hugs and kisses. They always need to know you still love them even if they were being an asshole.


These tools seemed to help me a lot while raising Ashley in our home and even Brianna benefits from them being a tween. Were raising human beings that are to be released into society to eventually run our world. We need to treat that with the massive respect and responsibility that it is! Spanking isn't necessary if you use the positive reinforcement skills. Some kids need it more than others. I'm not completely against spanking but I've been lucky enough not having to use it. I hope these suggestions help! Send me an email with your suggestions on positive discipline techniques!

Kristen

How to Get the Best Deals on Clothes for the Whole Family

Hey it's Thursday! Were almost there! This wonderful morning I got to lay in bed just a littttttle big longer. But after that it was off to the dreaded OBGYN. Because EVERYONE loves going to see the vagina doctor right? Ugh. Then I dropped off lunch to my hardworking husband at his job and here I am. Now that were getting into the fall months (sort of) and pumpkin spice every thing is coming out I wanted to give you guys some great tips on how to get the best deals for clothes for the whole family! And here we go!


1. Shop a season ahead
This is great for the entire family, especially the kids. Briannas a little bit harder because she'll be 12 and her size fluctuates a lot more and is less predictable but we still try to do our best. Ashley is perfect! She's at that stage where you absolutely know what size she'll be in the next season. Now that summer is ending I'll be buying up those winter and fall clothes! Right now she's comfortable in a 3T but by the fall she'll be sneaking into a 4T. So at the end of last winter the hunt began for THIS winter. My fave places are the Childrens Place and Macy's. The childrens place online ALWAYS has free shipping. I have a credit card with them so I get awesome points all the time and it doesn't take much to get enough points for a $5 or $10 off coupon. Their sales are pretty incredible also and they always send you coupons. They also have an oulet in Jackson if you guys are in NJ and they have $1 flip flops ALL THE TIME. 

2. Shop Clearance
This is my number one go to no matter what store I'm at. Shopping a season ahead also gives you great deals on clearance items. Shoes are always tough for the kids but clothes are easy with clearance. The childrens place clearance is always a go to. Macy's clearance isn't too bad but my credit card through them sometimes gives me coupons and a lot of the time you can double up. I usually go to Macy's for myself and Michael because of their deals on name brand items and clothing. It's always great for Christmas Shopping also. I bought Ashley an Easter Dress in a 4T for Easter 2018. It was normally a $50 dress from Gymboree and I got it for $10 with free shipping. I also unintentionally  bought another Easter dress for her recently from the childrens place. It was a $30 dress I got for $7 and free shipping. That was given to my sister in law lol!

3. Get a credit card for the store
Most of the times the credit cards really do give you great deals. I have one for most of the stores I frequent. Between the kids and myself and Michael I really enjoy the deals they send me. Macy's is always good for 25 percent off! Just read through the promotions they have and choose your cards wisely. My fave cards are Forever21, Nordstrom and Victorias Secret. Nordstorm has an Anniversary sale every year that I shop with phenomenal prices. They also increase your credit pretty often. Forever21 and Victorias secret also increase your limit pretty often and have great incentives to stay with your card. As long as you pay it on time it'll work out really well.

4. Scope out the sales
I spend a majority of my time online looking at all the sales going on. Different stores obviously have different sales. I'll do Old Navy and Carters every once in a while for the kids. Old Navy is a go to for me, I'm a size 8 and their shorts fit the most comfortably. Their kids clothes are a little pricey but once in a while you can get a good sale, shipping is always $10 on their site though so sign up for their email list and once in a while they do free shipping no minimum. Going to the store isn't terrible but I feel like a lot of their stuff looks the same so I'm picky. I use them primarily for jeans. Carters is just expensive all the time, even their clearance. Right now they're running a BOGO free sale on their shoes but their shoes are literally $30 a piece and I'm not down for that. Just keep an eye on the sales flyers and make sure you sign up for emails on their websites to keep up.

5. Shop black Friday!
This is obviously a no brainer and I can tell you I usually come to work on Black Friday because I can't be bothered to deal with the crowds and unlike my husband I am NOT a morning person. He wakes me up every morning for work at 5:30 and I usually give him crap like a teenager :) Cyber Monday is always the monday after Black Friday and you can actually find a slew of deals. I got Ashley a kindle two years ago that normally runs $100 for $35! I got the kid proof case and a screen protector also for another $20 so that was an awesome deal for Christmas. Watch for Cyber Monday deals and a majority of the time they'll run Black Friday deals online also. 


I hope some of these suggestions help you mamas out there! It takes time to master this but it really will help in the long run to help save money on everyones clothes. I lost 100 pounds in less than a year so I had to really replace my entire wardrobe. You can always sell things you no longer want and need on the Facebook yardsale websites! Thats made me some great money to help offset the cost of smaller clothes! Let me know if you guys have any other suggestions on how to save money! and make sure you check out my pinterest page and my instagram pages linked here!


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Faithfulness in marriage

So we just had a legit tsunami here just now and it looked RIDICULOUS. Just a side note to start this one off LOL. I've been doing a recent bible study and it starts to hit on faithfulness in marriage. The enemy is CONSTANTLY trying to ruin you and yours. In our marriage it's God, spouse, children. That's just how it works. People always wonder why the children are last. Let me explain. First is God because without God we wouldn't be together. If were not together our family falls apart and the children have no family. We always put God first with our faith and that makes our marriage a stronger one. I'm not saying we don't get into arguments or disagreements. If you've met my husband you would know we argue! Him and my oldest are the most stubborn human beings. So within our marriage we've always been faithful to each other. Being faithful doesn't just mean physically being with someone other than your spouse. This also covers emotional and verbal encounters. I can say there's never one time where Ive picked up Michaels phone and wondered what was on it. I can pick it up, look through all of his messages, his facebook, his twitter. I can look through his contacts and I know all of them because they're synced to my phone also! He purposely keeps messages for transparency. There's never a time where I have to question his loyalty and that's such a great definition of marriage. Being faithful to your spouse includes trust and faith. The same goes for Michael, he can always go through my phone and not wonder who people are. As a matter of fact I get a message on facebook the other day from a man I used to know telling me how beautiful I am. I didn't respond but I told Michael about it who didn't have a reaction because he knows his wife is the most beautiful thing walking the earth LOL. In reality though you have to be transparent with each other. There will come a point in time where the enemy will present either another person or an issue and you need to be able to trust your gut and know what the truth is. Someone can present information or rumors to me that mike is out running around with other women and I can just smile and say "don't believe everything you hear" and teach myself patience over situations. Because I know Michael goes to work and comes home. If he does go out I'm always by my side even if I didn't want to go! Being married brings you a whole slew of problems you never even knew could exist. I spent six years with someone I barely even knew! When I finally left and moved on with life I knew the next man I was with I needed to have a completely open relationship with. The good, the bad and the ugly. Whether we wanted to have awkward conversations or not and my entire life is literally awkward. Everything. Every serious conversation we need to have is awkward and we've been married almost two years. We had to get used to each other fast but because we've established trust early on we didn't have to worry about it. We have a joint bank account and we can see everything going in and out. I have a savings account that he has access to if need be. He's the beneficiary on all of my life insurance and 401K policies and I his. Being married and being faithful to someone is so much more than sex and being physical. That may be one of the awesome parts of my marriage but without trust and faith you have nothing. Take this into mind when building strength with your spouse and realizing that the enemy will absolutely try to break your Godly marriage up and make shambles. Stay strong and keep moving forward! Have a great night you guys and I hope you enjoyed!

Kristen