Disciplining tiny human beings

Well Sunday afternoon has arrived!


As I sit here After my Jesus loving time with my church family I realized disciplining my tiny little human being is EXHAUSTING. literally. I need a twelve hour nap and a Xanax. During church nursery this little girl as sweet as can be did not actually want to pick up the blocks. She wanted to kick them around and pretend she was half deaf and when she could hear she didn't understand English. I even tried mandarin. So as we get home and she goes down for a nap (thank you baby Jesus) I take some Tylenol and relax for the next two and a half hours. Upon our beautiful child waking up and eating her "wogurt" she decides she wants to color. My mom bought her these awesome markers you can draw on the glass with. So I take he caps off and she sits next to me to draw. Literally I look away for ten seconds and she has the bottom of her foot colored ... How are these tiny humans so quick? After half a dozen times of "don't color on yourself, don't color on the cats, don't color on the furniture" I realize a lesson is to be learned and reluctantly take the markers. I calmly explain to her she cannot color on anything but the glass and she folds her arms and mean mugs me. Like straight up stares me DOWN. Who needs the CIA? Put my toddler in a room and she'll make you WANT to tell the truth with her staring eyes. She decides she's annoyed with me and goes to sit on the stairs. The time out stairs. As if she's putting herself there because she knows it's inevitable if she stays in my vicinity! This crazy little girl takes her time out and is now running around tormenting the cats. In all reality I thank god everyday we got blessed with this little girl because she's nowhere near the handful her sisters have been! Sorry nan! She's relatively calm and cool collected with an even minded self. Her temper tantrums consist of making mean faces at me and not speaking to me for a designated amount of time. But let me tell you, repeating myself four times just to find out she cornered pita in the living room because she "wants pita to have a bath" makes me want to rip my hair out. But at the end of the day discipline will teach children there are consequences for their actions. They have to learn the world does not bow down to them and I have to remind myself I'm raising tiny human beings to be released in the world to not become serial killers. Preferably. When it gets hard and I feel like I'm failing I remember my kid isn't skinning squarrels and sacrificing them to Satan. Which is basically a win right? So my fellow parents, when you feel like you're failing as a parent just remember you created this kid and you're doing a hell of a job raising them because honestly it's HARD. So put yourself together and keep parenting and raising awesome tiny little human beings! Have a blessed Sunday guys!!

Kristen