The truth about co-parenting as a stepmom

Good morning!

So after this long, LONG weekend I'm feeling a certain type of way as a stepmom. People honestly don't tell you the truth about being a step mom and then it's this huge surprise when you become one and it's not all fairy dust and unicorn kisses. My sister in law was the most honest about it and told me directly that it's probably going to suck most of the time. Not because of the kids, or the husband, but it's going to be the co-parenting. Lord have mercy was she right. Again let me preface with we co-parent very well with Brianna's mom and step dad Corey. Not that we didn't have any bumps in the road ever, trust me we had our disagreements and arguments BUT the point is we were able to be adults and work it out. Because at the end of the day it really is all about the kid, that's not just a cute meme people post on Facebook. Brianna is our only child who knows who her family is, what role they play and that she can feel comfortable loving all of us in her own way. She doesn't ever have to pick who she wants to be around. Unfortunately our other two children don't have it that easily. Let me start by saying this post is about being a step mom and having absolutely no say whatsoever with the child. Seriously. I'm not joking. I can raise that tiny little human being any way I want, in MY home. When she goes to another home, I have on say there. I can only hope they take our advice and really do what's best for her. Again, unfortunately that isn't happening. Ashley showed up with a yeast infection for the second week in a row. Again by Sunday we had it cleared up to ship her back to no mans land (because honestly we have no idea where she lives, crazy right?). In hopes that she comes back without this gnarly yeast infection next week I've found myself SO ANNOYED. Mainly because I can't take care of her during the week like I feel she should be. This is where the little voices in your head scream "YOU'RE NOT HER MOM". seriously though, I'm not. and that SUCKS. Especially because of the environment she's in during the week. I can't scream at her other family, I can't send text messages of concern, I can't even be Facebook friends. It's such a hard thing that nobody tells you about regarding being the STEP MOM and not the REAL mom. Trust me, that gets thrown in your face at least half a dozen times before the sting goes away. Co parenting with someone who doesn't even want to parent is the hardest thing to live with. You get attached to these tiny humans and you want the best for them. Here's the end of this insane rant so I can move on with my week, step parenting is TOUGH and anyone who tells you it's all roses and love notes is lying to you. Right to your face. Step parenting is probably the hardest thing you will ever do, whether the child lives with you most of the time or not. Because at the end of the day you aren't a biological parent. As much as you may have control in your house you don't have control in the child's other home. Just remember your love isn't being diminished because you're a step parent. A step parents love is so amazing because they chose to love when they didn't have to. Have a blessed week guys!

Kristen