Good morning fellow step parents!
I had such an awesome weekend with my youngest step daughter Ashley i'm still happy about it! We went to Johnson's Farm for some pumpkin picking and lunch which was awesome. Every year she gets older the more awesome and exciting it gets! She loved the hay ride and walking around the field, she ended up piling all the pumpkins into a pile! haha it was really an awesome day. It's fantastic watching these little humans learn and grow and experience new things. Unfortunately the beginning of our day was not as happy, we pick Ashley up on Saturday mornings at 8:30 halfway between our house and her mothers house. I say her mothers house because she refuses to give us the address of where she's actually living with her boyfriend. That home consists of Ashley have no bed of her own, she has to sleep with them. She also has no room for herself, they live in an attic with some caged animal and all of his tattoo supplies. This has resulted in Ashley receiving two black eyes in the past year which is still a little shady on how she got both of them. So we've been trying to actively potty train for months now, we got the potty seat, the underwear, the rewards, the whole shabang. We put in her underwear, we deal with the accidents and we try to keep her going forward. Then she goes home to her mom for five days and sits in a diaper. And when I say she sits in a diaper i mean they put a diaper on her and she contracts yeast infections every week because they refuse to wipe her between changes. Gross, I know. Anyway so she shows up in her pajamas and no shoes because for some reason putting shoes on your toddler when leaving the house doesn't happen with them, were honestly lucky she had a jacket on. Anyway so she stinks like cigarettes, she's hysterically crying because her mother always says something to get her going like "i know but you have to go to your dads house" or "we can't go to the lake today because you have to go to your dads house" ultimately making mike the bad guy for wanting to spend time with his kid. SO not only does she stink but she has FOOD stuck to the side of her FACE from the previous night. W T F. So we go to my moms house and i get her cleaned up and get her into fresh clothes. As soon as I offered her yogurt and water in the car she was totally fine, she's not a brat, her mom is. we get all set and get some breakfast in us and off we went to pick pumpkins! She's obviously the sweetest little girl that we could have taken with us at that age. She was fine the whole time, even ate an entire hot dog! The rest of the weekend was fun, we went to church, hung out, did whatever, potty trained which she took to pretty well like normal. A few accidents but nothing horrible. We have hit this huge brick wall of Ashley continuously calling her moms boyfriend "daddy H***" (I'm not revealing his name) and actually calls mike that pretty consistently now. The kid is pretty obviously confused about who is who in her life. We've confronted her about this previously (as i'm sure you're all aware from previous posts) and she still just seems to not understand. The weirdest part about this weekend was sitting at the table and Ashley starts to tell us about a story where moms boyfriend hit mom. W T F. I won't get into details but if an almost three year old can tell me the things she told me I would believe it. On top of already knowing about the physical violence that has happened between them. Needless to say she's showing up with black eyes, yeast infections, crazy stories and not potty trained. For some reason her mom seems to not care. I've been pretty neutral in this entire thing for a long time just playing my step mom role but when does enough become enough? Not to mention as soon as Ashley saw her mom she immediately asked for her "passy". Now my sister in law took her daughters pacifier away a while back and my niece never asks for it, ever. As a matter of fact my new nephew has one and she still doesn't ask for hers. Because she knows she doesn't get one, how about that! Three years old and Ashley is still being given a pacifier, that's disgusting. Stop it, stop with the pacifier at three years old. We stopped giving it to her two years ago and she never asks us for one. So all in all, as well as WE'VE raised this child she still goes to a home full of violence and poor parenting. Who do you call for help? Because last time we called for help they tried to arrest me for child abuse. So you can't call the authorities what do you do? We could go back to court but that's a fifty fifty chance, who knows how the judge is that day. I'm just so frustrated this little girl is living in filth all day, with no baths, they don't even take the previous coat of nail polish off before they slap another coat on. Her ears are dirty and full of wax, her socks were destroyed and tore up (so we bought her another pack of socks). Her clothes are never the right size, the coat was a 4T! I just can't comprehend, why have children if you're not willing to take care of them? This is the end of my rant for this week, it was just so frustrating watching a mother who is not on drugs, make poor choices. A mother who is more concerned with her boyfriend and their relationship than the son she gave up and the daughter she refuses to take care of. Anyway, moving forward. Any comments, suggestions or just advice from any step parents is of course always welcome! Remember to stick together, step parents have a tough job! Keep it up and keep lovin' those babies :)
Have a blessed week guys
Kristen
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