Good afternoon lovies!
Can we talk about the ridiculousness of step parenting?! Let me preface with this past holiday with Ashley and Brianna were kind of awesome. Their moms were totally accommodating with us to do presents with the girls and have them to celebrate the holidays with. It's an amazing thing when a family can work together for the good of the child. Unfortunately Leigha was a little bit different and it was decided last minute to not allow her to receive her gifts. That unfortunately hurt Leigha more than anything to not get her gifts from her father. But that's just another hurdle we have to jump right? Unfortunately Narcissists and selfish people don't actually take into consideration the children. But the good news is we had Ashley and Brianna and such a fantastic time with them! I can personally say the struggle of a step parent is trying to form that bond with the children as well as forming that bond with the biological moms. That sounds absolutely crazy since i'm supposed to be the step monster right? I'm this horrible person who came into this mans life and married him and took on three kids that I did not give birth to. We never had that "honeymoon" period. Especially since he had Leigha full time. I was terrified of brianna because at the time she was eight and had a complete idea of what was going on. God blessed me with her not being a complete asshole to me and was actually super wonderful at welcoming me into her life. It also helped that her mom and step dad Corey got to know me and realized I wasn't this crazy crackhead that wanted to tear up lives. But they did the right thing and invited me in, i'm not saying we've never had disagreements but when we do it's a conversation. Not an argument threatening child support and court. That's ridiculous. I can honestly say now almost three years later that nobody dreams of being a step mom. You're not a little girl dreaming of growing up and marrying a man who's already been married and had kids and doing it all over again. I can say I've struggled with the fact that I won't have those kinds of firsts with him. But what I can say is it will be a first for US. In a few years we'll have a baby and it will be a completely different experience for him. He won't have to worry about me coming home and stealing diapers and formula and returning them to the store for money for illegal things. He won't have to worry about me not waking up during the night to feed the crying baby. He won't have to worry about me wandering out at all hours of the night to again do illegal activities. I'm a great wife and an even better step mom and hopefully soon to be mom. I'm not this evil wicked step mom from the storybooks, as a matter of fact most step moms are pretty awesome. It's finally come to light that ex wives, ex girlfriends, ex baby mamas, they can all get along with this woman in your childs life. It doesn't have to be this crazy, control freak situation. Who says your child can't love more than one person? Becky and Tammy both know full well they are their childs mother but when they come to my house that's the role I play at my house and it's encouraged. We want the children to feel as if they have this huge family. At the end of the day it's not about you or me, it's about them. And you can bet damn well I have their best interests at heart. I'm glad I could foster a relationship with these women and know the children are growing up in the best possible environments. Don't use your children as a weapon or one day you'll find yourself without ammunition. Do the right thing, be a grown up, take care of your child, be a family. If you're struggling with with a woman that refuses to accept you because she has this jaded idea in her head that he's going to come back to her (like I do), brush it off. He's YOUR husband, he chose YOU. You have that marriage certificate, those diamond rings, that house, he bought YOU that car, that michael kors purse, that new ipad. You're the one he sleeps next to every single night. Trust me, that's hard to wrap your head around but it's true. So go ahead and be that awesome step mom, don't let people bring you down to be that wicked step mother that puts children in ivy towers. Keep doing what you do best, raise those babies. Form that relationship. Keep that bond. Blend your family. Love. Have faith and pray to God everyday that he keeps blessing your family.
Have an awesome new years guys! See you in 2017!!
Kristen
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