Hey guys!
So this is kind of a random post but the other day I had a headache and took Excedrin late and then I couldn't sleep so obviously that made me just sit up at night thinking about life. ha. #typical. Anyway so I was thinking about this text message Ashley's mom sent me the other day that started like "Hey girl!" and it was following a phone call she had made earlier that day about Ashley's antibiotics or something. It really made me appreciate that relationship that I have with her. It wasn't always like that but it's definitely working towards it and I really have to appreciate that. The struggle is real. Ashley was four months old when I started dating Michael so I can imagine the tough transition Tammy went through. Eventually she came to realize that I was a fantastic step mom and loved Ashley as much as she did and that's ultimately what matters. Even through this entire Leigha situation she went to court with mike and established custody (which is joint custody) and it went into court and they signed a parenting plan for holidays, emergency contacts and every weekend mike will have her. NOW THAT'S CO PARENTING! I'm so proud of the relationships I've formed with Brianna and Ashley's mom and I think it says a lot. We actually went to dinner the other night with the girls and Becky and Corey to the melting pot which was INCREDIBLE. It was so nice to sit down and have a couples night with the kids and relax. I love having those relationships where nobody's mad or hostile. The girls would totally think that's super weird if we ever got into an argument or were mad at each other. Me and Becky have been having numerous conversations regarding briannas school and it's been made very clear that Becky wants ALL OF BRIANNAS PARENTS to be involved in any decisions being made regarding her education. That's how it should be, people tend to think that because a marriage or relationship didn't work out that there then has to be hostility. There doesn't! That's amazing that people want to be mad all the time. The biggest problem I have is when women cannot accept the fact that the man has moved on. I met mike in April of 2014, we were engaged in February of 2015 (which triggered a huge melt down from someone) and we were married in October of 2015. That's a pretty significant thing to marry someone, I feel like that's a billboard shout out that he's moved on. Clinging to something that isn't there shows mental instability and a refusal to move on. At some point there has to be a move on, you have to accept that there is no longer a relationship there and just have a working relationship with that parent. Using spite and a child to get back at someone for moving on after a traumatizing relationship really doesn't hurt anyone except for the child. Manipulation, mental abuse, emotional abuse is not a way to get someone back. Especially when a child is involved. I have fantastic working relationships with these two women and I couldn't be more appreciative of that. We communicate, we engage, we love these kids. As a matter of fact they're more likely to text me than mike because I'm the mom at my house and it's way easier to talk to a woman! Which is totally fine with Mike, he fully enjoys the fact that it's a proven fact that I have two other relationships so clearly the problem isn't ME. I just want all of you step moms and dads to know that we can all be adults, it's not difficult. Just remember when someone loves your child as much as you do, that's the step parent you want in your childs life. Because it's all about loving the child and making sure they succeed in life. When a relationship ends, move on. Don't use the child out of spite. Form a relationship with the new wife, girlfriend whatever. It's so much easier to be a family than not. Keep that in mind for this weekend coming up and when you all do your exchanges just make that extra effort to be insanely nice and really try to bond with that other parent. Have a great day guys!
Kristen
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