Hey guys!
So this is kind of funny, kind of not funny. But! The past few years a few people thought it would be funny to call me the "mean mom" or the "nazi mom" which at first kind of bothered me. Upon further examination of my "momming" though I realized I was actually the "Good Mom". I'm the mom that didn't want to raise little assholes and send them into the world with a false sense of entitlement. I make these kids work for everything they have. Brianna gets crappy grades? Enjoy focusing more on school than on your computer. You wanna lie to mom and act like we aren't all on the same page? Cool, you get zero electronics. Also she's eleven and we love her to absolute pieces but the tween stage can kiss my ass because it makes me want to jump off a bridge. So here's a few reasons why it no longer bothers me when the crazies call me the "nazi mom"
1. I'm not your friend.
Also I will not be your friend until you're well into your twenties and have become a grown adult on your own. That's kind of how that works. This is really easy to do when they're young and you set boundaries. But once they get into their teen years and they're defiant and you really just want that close connection with them, this is when "being friends" seems way easier and a better idea. It's not. You're not raising someone to be your friend, you're raising someone to go into the world and do something extraordinary. When they're five and you're giving into every demand they have because "you don't want to make them mad" makes me want to scream at you. MAKE THEM MAD! They need to not have this sense of entitlement. Make them work for things. Because when they get older that's exactly what they're going to have to do. prepare them for the world.
2. I'm not here to be the "cool mom"
I'm here to raise children that are respectful and have manners and are good natured. Ashley EVERY SINGLE SATURDAY when leaving my moms house for family dinner says "thanks for dinner!". When it's warmer we go for walks after dinner and she thanks my mom for walking also! She says please and thank you, she says "excuse me" when people are talking. She waits her turn to be heard. Brianna is taught the same thing and she's eleven. When Leigha was with us full time she may have had her behavioral problems but she wasn't this nasty little child. She was polite, and used her manners. And in all honesty they don't think twice about it because that' show they're being raised. That's normal, until you're no longer made to do these things then you just look like a little jerk, which probably mimics your parents. I'm definitely not going to look like a jerk.
3. Kids will suck the nice right out of you, and that's okay.
I've read SO MANY BOOKS on using the "nice" approach to children. It's great that you want to be nice and you want to give them everything they want. But that's not reality. And kids will suck the nice right out of you and leave you feeling super exhausted. I'm not saying be a complete asshole to your kids but when you're at a store and your child wants something you can ALWAYS say no. That happens a lot with our kids lol Our kids definitely don't get everything they want. And then Leigha says something nerve wracking like "we can just borrow it" which is a whole other story that showed us someone was stealing from stores in front of her, that was awesome. Kids need to realize parents aren't always nice because we have to be the PARENTS. that's our job. Suck it up buttercup because when you're an adult you still don't get everything you want!
4. I refuse to raise little manipulators.
Leigha said one time a few months ago to my husband "You don't want to make me mad do you?". I can promise you I almost lost my shit when I heard about this BS. I don't think I've ever had a child say anything remotely close to this. I'm raising young ladies and if they think for one second they can pull the wool over my eyes they can think again. Nothing gets more serious than the look of satan in your eyes when your kids say something crazy like this. No child, my goal is to not make you mad but I can promise you threatening me is not going to make your life easier. But again this kind of manipulation she was exhibiting is a product of the environment she's being raised in. She can control every possible thing mainly because the adults in her life don't care enough or don't have enough time to bother with her. And that's the real shame. I don't think Ashley or Brianna would have half the guts to say anything close to that to any of their parents. Mainly because we raised children who know their place. They k now they're children and that's the end of it. Were the parents, we make the rules. Get on board.
People want to call me the "Nazi Mom" and that's perfectly okay. Because we took Ashley to Ashley's Furniture the other day for a good two or so hours and she was the epitome of perfection. She followed us, she didn't scream or cry, she carried her ninja turtles water bottle, she sat on beds and called them comfy. She didn't run around the store like a banchy and not once did she get cranky and we were encroaching on her nap time. THAT is what i'm raising. I'm raising children that know their place and what we as adults and society expect from them. From the time Ashley was an infant we could take her to the church service and she was the quiet baby. Then when we took her to the nursery she was perfect she didn't cry, or scream or throw a fit. She legit just wanted to hang out with her friends and learn about Jesus. If we tell her no she accepts that and moves on. I can't tell you the last time she sat in time out because she knows she doesn't want to be a part of that. That was her upbringing, we chose to introduce her to educational activities and books. When we had Leigha we read her two books every single night and learned our prayers. Children are our future, lets not raise jerks and entitled people who think they don't have to work for anything. Because normal adults DO have to work for things and pay bills. They don't lie and cheat and steal like some grown ups do. That's not the child I want to raise. Now I'm going to work a full day at work and earn my paycheck!
Enjoy this beautiful day guys!
Kristen
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