Wednesday, August 16, 2017

To my tween daughter ... you are perfect







So ... in a few short weeks my oldest will be TWELVE. She's my wonderful step daughter and I met her when she was a wee eight years old. In the past three years I've watched her grow into such an awesome person. So not only is she turning twelve on September 7th, she also goes back to school September 7th! This is her 7th grade year and I'm almost positive her mother is going to have a coronary. We've been blessed enough to raise this child with two moms and make it clear to her who her family is. To be honest .. I think she'd prefer two moms LOL! Anyway, so in light of her starting her 7th grade year shortly and turning twelve, here my love is a letter telling you all about how wonderful YOU are and how life is going to throw you lemons. I'm going to teach you how to throw them back ;)



1. You're perfect.
Now I don't mean to make this about you being big headed but I am telling you that you are a wonderful tiny human being. You're at such a beautiful age where the world is dark and scary but at the same time you pick the flowers that make it beautiful. You are a spitting image of your mom mom and you're so lucky for that. You're smart, and witty and your banter with me makes me laugh thinking about it. You're quick with your comebacks and you have such a soft heart. I want you to know in my eyes you are perfect and no matter what happens, I've got your perfect back!


2. People are going to suck, and I'm sorry.
As you enter into 7th grade you've become very well aware that some people do in fact suck. We've had this conversation recently but I want to reiterate to you that they do suck. They're going to continue to suck. As you get into your 7th grade year this will be continue to be true and I want you to walk away from people like this. Always give people the benefit of the doubt but if it's a continued behavior ... continue to walk away from it. I'm sorry you have to deal with people that suck but that will be your entire life and my job my dear is to tell you how to give those people the middle finger and realize you're better than that.

3. Learn how to problem solve
So I'm sorry to say your father at 33 years of age is still struggling to problem solve. We all remember the cookie incident of 2017. But you are brilliant and wonderful and can accomplish anything. There are going to be times where you're in a situation that isn't ideal and you're going to learn how to solve the problem. You're step mama over here got stuck on the turnpike once without money to get OFF the turnpike. yup. that happened. Don't tell Nana. But I problem solved and got money from a nice stranger to get off the turnpike. Those situations will prepare you for the rest of your life and you will appreciate the times you get stuck and have to get out.

4. Don't ever let someone bully you.
Believe it or not I was bullied most of my high school career :( Yeah. It sucked. I won't lie. And nana was great and stood up for me and let me try and handle what I could. I think I was much less aggressive than I am now and didn't learn that until my late twenties. Either way I want you to stand up for yourself in every single situation. Even if it's with me, mommy or daddy. If something is happening that you don't agree with, let me hear your voice banana. Let me hear what your thoughts and emotions and opinions are. If something is happening to you and someone is bullying you, speak! Tell them to fuck off, or tell me and I'll tell them to fuck off. Don't let people walk all over you and use you. You my darling are made to be incredible and you should let people treat you as such.

5. Put down the electronics
SO fun fact ; your step mom didn't have a cell phone until she was FIFTEEN. And when I did get a phone you had to hit the letter P FOUR times to get the letter you wanted. I didn't have the ipad or anything and when I connected to the internet on the computer it made a terrible sound. Seriously. I know that you love snap chat and facebook and whatever it is you do, but don't lose your childhood through the phone. Also the whole people sucking thing tends to happen over social media. Remember people get ballsy when they don't have to say it to your face. So make sure you take time to memorize your sisters favorite song, or what it sounds like when your dad gets home. Just take this in, because one day you'll be old like me and wish you could go back. 

6. Watch your weight, but don't make it a thing.
This is such a touchy subject but I'm going to say it. Hormones are going to tear your body apart. We teach you healthy choices because it's eventually going to matter. I don't want you to end up at 27 years old, 257 pounds and hating yourself. And the people who call you fat, or piggy, or make oink sounds. Because shitty people do shitty things. Just take in healthy options while you have the chance to teach yourself and you'll stay just as perfect as you are.

7. Don't compare yourself to other people.
Seriously, everybody is different. There was a girl in my middle school who we all thought had big boobs and hated her for it. Turns out when we got to high school and grew into our boobs, hers sucked! Some people won't have to work at all to get an A in math, some people (like me) will work as hard as they can and still not do as good. That's life and that doesn't diminish your shine at all. I promise. Everyone can be wonderful in their own way! I'm a fantastic writer who's created this awesome brand, daddy knows more about politics (as were all well aware of). So just find your niche. Whatever you choose to do, be amazing at it.


The point is, twelve is a tough age. And unfortunately sunshine it gets worse before it gets better. I was 25 before it got better and I met your dad. I made some bad choices and I made some good ones. I want you to know we respect your wishes and when you ask for something. You're becoming a grown up and we are going to treat you as such. Just know you are a wonderful tiny human being and I'm so insanely blessed to be your step mom. I cant wait to celebrate your birthday with you and continue to watch you grow into something absolutely incredible. You my love are the sunshine in my life. I love you banana cakes. 

Your probably super crazy embarrassing Step Mom.

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