What's up Threenager

Can we have a quick conversation about how my three year old now has the attitude equivalent to my twelve-year-old? She also has the argumentative skills as an experienced attorney. So the other day were in the kitchen and she's arguing with me about the use of her kinetic sand. WELL. The problem is SHE DOESN'T LIKE THE FEEL OF SAND!

 So I'm telling her every time she uses the sand she immediately wants her hands washed. So this conversation continues while I'm in my pajamas that say "prefer to be caffeinated" while trying to balance the coffee mug in my hand. At this point, I have a sore throat from God knows what and this child has now changed the tone of her voice in hopes I wouldn't recognize it and think she's an entirely different human ... or species. So this kinetic sand is AWESOME, it's magnetic! You can find it HERE So it's really less of a mess and comes out of carpet ... and hair ... and the dog. But just like any other sand, she does NOT want it on her hands. Which is a tough one BECAUSE SHE HAS TWO. 

So I eventually give in because the cat is meowing to go outside, the dog follows me around like I have treats up my butt and this little girl is starting to get really good at arguing. She assures me that she does, in fact, enjoy the feel of sand and will NOT ask me to immediately wash her hands. SO I get her frozen table and chair set out of her room, bash my head on the top of the closet while I'm getting this STUPID sand out of the closet (I still have coffee in my hand by the way .. ). I get this sand down and all of the toys that go with it and get her all set up at the table. In the meantime, my twelve-year-old has her monthly friend and has put headphones into her ears to drown out the nonsense happening. So in hopes that finally I can get the massive amount of dishes out of the sink and possibly take the dog out so she doesn't poop on my floor, I sigh a little sigh of relief. 

To be honest I can't even tell you where my husband was at the time but I'm pretty sure he had fled the house in hopes of a safe haven. Being the Momtag that I am I grab my camera and snap a few pics of my threenager playing so nicely with her kinetic sand. I then start to clean my house and get my chores done for the day. WELL! Within ten minutes my three-year-old is now following me around the house with purple sand hands asking me to immediately wash her hands PLEASE. I'm sorry, is this the twilight zone? Is this happening? Was I just duped by a three-year-old assuring me she would not do this to me? So my cup of coffee that has only had about three sips taken out of it gets lost in the mix and put on a table somewhere. I continue this conversation with her asking her why she wanted to wash her hands. She responded with "I don't wike it". 

I'm sorry, you don't like what? The feeling of the sand you insisted on playing with!? I'm now arguing with this threenager who is actually getting pretty convincing with her arguments insisting that it's the PURPLE sand that's, in fact, an issue. She also tells me that she would like play dough instead. I take her and wash her hands and she happily goes to bug her sister who probably wants to punch us all in the face by now. This has now been an hour of my life discussing this friggin sand. I proceed to clean up the sand, realize I have a knot on my head from retrieving the sand in the first place and try to move on with my day. 

This is just a typical Saturday morning in my house. There should be a warning label attached to your marriage certificate ...