Hey! we made it through the week! Today is especially rough for me since yesterday was puppy day! I took the day off to get Grace all squared away with her shots and getting her groomed. I deep cleaned the house a bit and got a little more organized. It was a nice lazy day just hangin around and catching up on stuff that had been neglected! So today is a little harder for me ;) Anyway so today I'm thinking about how I have to pick up Brianna after work and Ashley comes tomorrow and how I've accumulated all of these little girls! Poor Mike, even the cat and dog are girls! So I'm thinking about growing up and how my mother instilled confidence in me. She always told me I could do and be whatever it is I wanted to. I was never given a sense that I couldn't do something just because I owned a vagina. And I did! If I wanted to play baseball with the boys, I did! And I did it well! I could always focus on what I wanted and how to accomplish it because my parents were my biggest fans. Even my dad at cheerleading competitions shaking the water bottle noise maker with Burlington Townships colors all in it :) It was a really supportive time growing up for me and I really want to give my girls that also. Today's blog is dedicated to how to instill confidence in our girls! I hope you enjoy :)
Identify positive female roles
So Hillary Clinton, probably not a positive female role. The girls have always enjoyed Taylor Swift and I think she's a fantastic role model. She's always kept life kosher and been age appropriate. She's aware she has a younger audience at times and really encourages young girls to be who they want. Who needs a man? Condoleezza Rice is also someone I've always admired. She's a strong female politician and doesn't take crap from anyone. I want my daughters to know that nothing can hold them back, even in a male dominated world.
Encourage Independence
Even from a young age when we were at birthday parties my mom shoved me into the party to make friends. I wasn't allowed to hang out with her and the grownups. Why? BECAUSE I WAS FOUR. I needed to go make friends, and doing that gave me the confidence I still have today. At 28 years old I can go ANYWHERE and make friends even if I don't know a soul in the room. I want my girls to know they can do anything, like change a tire or their oil. I know how to do it, I just choose not to! I want them to know they should be able to take care of themselves in a relationship. I spent six years with someone and then one day I walked away and I had a sense of independence to take care of myself. Because I was raised to know how to take care of myself, emotionally and financially.
Compliment Conscientiously
I think comments are a big thing for kids, in the right context. Ever since the girls were little I've always told them things like "you're so pretty" but then realizing being pretty isn't everything. Me being pretty gets me a lot in life but my outgoing personality and kind nature gets me further. Now I say things to them like "Do you know how smart you are?". If they're playing a game or building something and they get frustrated, I encourage them and let them know they CAN do it, just concentrate on it. When they finally finish the project they're so proud of themselves because THEY did it with nobody elses help!
Challenge them physically and mentally
I enrolled Ashley into gymnastics at a really young age because I want the kids to know they're always physically capable of doing things. There's a lot of male dominant sports and I never want my girls to think they can't do something because they're a girl. Ashley would get frustrated if her front roll wasn't perfect or she didn't stick her land just right but eventually after practice she did it! She would be so insanely proud of herself. I try to also challenge them mentally with lots of educational activities. When we go on nature walks I give them age appropriate "hunts" to complete. Mikes really good with identifying different plants and trees and always incorporates that into our walks. This keeps the girls minds working and when we quiz them on stuff it gives them confidence to know they're learning and are very bright!
Give her a voice
Brianna's had a voice since the day she was born and continues it this day. She's very outspoken and opinionated. She gets that from her father! haha. Ashley was really quiet for most of her life but she'll be four this December and I think I've given her enough confidence to know she's allowed to speak up (this one may have bit me in the butt). Now she chooses her own activities, pajamas, toothpaste, bath toys. I give her these options and I always ask how she's feeling, what's she thinking, what is she doing. She'll go into her bedroom and grab a book and just read to herself. I want the girls to know their opinions matter and they do have a voice and can speak up when they feel something is wrong. We've always given Brianna the choice of what she wants to do and recently she made a choice about one of her sisters. We supported her choice as all four of her parents because she spoke up with her concerns. We listened and we allowed her to make her own decision.
Give them responsibility
SO I've been told I'm a horrible horrible woman for giving my children chores. (gasp!) When the girls are with us they're expected to clean up after themselves, that's a given. I'm not your maid, I'm your mother. Ashley makes her bed the best she can, she puts her clothes away, she cleans up her room. The girls help me feed the animals in the morning and at night. It gives them a sense of being needed and wanted. It gives them a sense of accomplishment when they're done and they've completed a task. Ashley again is almost four and will gain more chores as she gets older. We don't do allowances but we give them praise and they gain their own sense of accomplishment with that. Giving them these chores gives them confidence.
There's a huge list of things that you can do to encourage your daughters to be healthy, independent women. These are just a few that I've used in my daily rides with the kids that seem to be helping them. I hope these help you encourage your daughters to be independent, wonderful women! Everyone have an AWESOME weekend!
Kristen
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