So it's been kind of a long week and I recognize that it's only Wednesday. The past few days I've really sat and kind of thought about my girls and my 28 years of life. SO here's a list of things I really want my girls to know as they grow up and grow into little women!
1. Your period is going to suck, and I'm sorry.
I feel like nobody gave me the real deal of getting my period and how much it sucked. I was thirteen and it wasn't bad until I reached high school. I remember sitting in class in severe pain because of the cramps. The pain eventually got bettered but now I'm 28 and trying to get through my Wednesday at work severely tired and totally aware of my period causing havoc on my body. So when yours decides to show up invest in a heating pad and always go for the chocolate. I promise it eventually gets bettered. You're probably going to have some super gross moments but don't worry. You have your mom and me to help you through it. Find a man that's going to rub your back and get you excedrin. The headaches are incredible and there's really not much you can do about it but you'll be okay. I Promise :)
2. Know the difference between lust and love.
I could probably count on two hands how many times I thought I was in love. It wasn't real until I met your dad. My first boyfriend was when I was twelve and I thought I'd marry him. As I got older I had to fight with my heart whether it was real or not. I learned some really harsh lessons about love. It taught me that just because you're with someone for six years doesn't mean you'll get married or that he'll be faithful. It also taught me how to say goodbye to a really toxic relationship. You'll go through these as well but I hope you know sooner than I did when to walk away. It's going to be hard and you're going to cry and you have me and your mom to hug you and love you. My mom always told me time will heal everything and as true as that is, it's still hard. Eat the chunky monkey ice cream, cry to the Taylor Swift songs, watch the black and white movies and eventually you'll forget about the idiot who broke your heart. You always have daddy, pop and uncle matt to hide bodies if need be.
3. Watch your weight but don't worry about thigh gaps.
I say watch your weight because I've struggled most of my adult life with my weight. I got comfortable in relationships and made poor choices eating. I gained a lot of weight and had to fight to lose it. I'm so strict with you girls and making healthy choices because I don't want you to struggle like I did, and like nana did. We'll both tell you it isn't worth it. That being said, thigh gaps are fucking stupid. Be at a weight where you're comfortable. Don't worry about super flat stomachs, or huge boobs or thigh gaps. Be comfortable in your own skin and be healthy. Go to the gym, play sports, be a gymnast but just keep MOVING. Mexican food is totally great once in a while, but go for the yogurt instead of the donut. I love you girls so much I don't want you to struggle like I did. Don't let society tell you how you should look though, be healthy!
4. You're going to be the ugly duckling for a while
I was, until I was probably 25 and met your dad lol. I went through the purple mascara stage and the bright blue eyeliner. And you will also! I had frizzy hair and I thought I could walk in heels comfortably most of my high school career. You will also go through these stages and when you're in your mid twenties and get comfortable with things you'll just look back and laugh. Believe it or not I thought I was a punk rocker most of my sophomore year! I was not lol BUT I did what I wanted and wore the black and listened to the emo music and I loved life. I made some crappy choices and learned my lesson. You'll also do the same and when that happens we'll be here to catch you and support your emo music as much as we may hate it! We've been there and you will also be there but you'll also grow into BEAUTIFUL women with WONDERFUL personalities that will light up the world. Just wait for it :) Dance in your room, sing in your mirror, love life.
5. It's okay to be vulnerable.
I think for most of my twenties I felt vulnerable and tried to tell the idiot I was with how I felt to no avail. Vulnerability means you're human. And that's okay. Letting someone know how you feel whether it's me, daddy or mommy is perfectly acceptable. As long as you're doing it in a healthy way then let it out. Please. If you're with someone and you feel ashamed to cry in front of them or scream or break down, that's not the person you should be with. Make sure you surround yourself with people who don't take advantage of this vulnerability. If you're feeling something, tell us. Tell your friends. Tell your husband or boyfriend. Let it out because bottling it up will drive you insane. I did it for six years and your poor dad now has the backlash of feeling everything I'm feeling. LET IT OUT. You won't be judged if you come to your parents, I promise we will support you and hold you and help with any problem you have.
6. Validate your damn self.
Here's one that Nana always taught me. YOU DO NOT NEED A MAN TO VALIDATE YOU. Make your own money, work your own jobs, do your damn thing. You are a STRONG woman and you should act as though. Work hard, play hard. Me and daddy work super hard to provide a life for you guys and we want you to succeed and life. We'll do anything to help you but please please know that you can validate yourself. So what if the idiot broke up with you? Know what? You're fucking perfect. Work hard at school, get a good job and make sure you can support yourself without a man. Don't depend on anyone else to give you what you want. You want that organic shampoo? Pay for it. Go out and work and pay for your stuff. Because at the end of the day, all you have is yourself. And that HAS to be good enough.
7. Don't compare yourself to other people.
Don't. please. Because you are who you are and that's enough. This is probably the hardest thing you'll battle with. I still to this day battle with it. It's so easy to covet or be jealous of another girl. Whether it's her hair, her weight, her job, her husband. You know I'm 28 and I get jealous when girls post pictures of their pregnancy? But I talk to God about it and am fully aware that we will be trying to have a baby soon and when it's my time then it's my time. I was jealous of a girl in middle school because her boobs got big early. They were the same size in highschool and then they were small! Who cares! You have so many awesome traits and personalities you don't need to be like anyone else. Always remember who you are.
8. Be good to yourself.
The biggest problem even at 28 is letting what people say get to me. I'm just now learning how to ignore the negativity and great a positive outlook. You know how many fat jokes I used to get? I got called so many nasty names you wouldnt ever believe me. But now I realize it doesn't matter what those morons say. It doesn't matter what anyone says! Be good to yourself and believe the good in yourself. You have good people in your life who love you. Don't listen to the negativity as hard as that is. Create positive situations. When people are mean to you it has NOTHING to do with you, that's a battle they're fighting within themselves.
Some of these things aren't going to make sense to you until you learn a really hard lesson. I've been there, done that. Trust me. I've learned some hard lessons and continue to learn them everyday. Either way life isn't easy. But you have a wonderful family to fall back on and so many people that love you. Take these into consideration and pray on everything. Put on some gangsta rap, make some coffee and handle it. We love you girls to the moon and back and we'll ALWAYS be here for you. I love you!
Kristen
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