Self preservation

Happy Sunday!!

This weekend has been CRAZY! We had a family reunion weekend with my dads side of the family. So much fun! Friday we went to dinner with everyone when they got in which was super chill and relaxing. Saturday was an all day event with games and drinks and awesome people. Ashley of course was the light of the party with her well behaved self and independent attitude haha. It was great to hang out at my parents and really enjoy being around family we don't get to see often. I feel really blessed that nobody kept me from that out of spite. I've always had access to my family because they loved me. That's how it should be. And you know I've gotten to a point where I just released all of my forgiveness. I don't have a choice. I was so engulfed with hate because of the attacks on me, my job and my family. Between the harassing phone calls to my job which did absolutely nothing but give me security protection and a bunch of blocked numbers to the cheating rumors little girls wanted to start. There's SO MUCH ANGER AND HATE with people sometimes. Being a step mom is hard enough, but then being a step mom that's attacked constantly. I don't have to pretend to be a victim because all of the unprovoked attacks proves I'm a victim. Which is a card I'm not willing to play unlike some people. At this point all I can do is forgive and hope one day people will want to act like adults. Stop the lying and the cheating and the addictions. I'm appreciating the relationships I have with other people to be able to form a family relationship. The only ones that suffer are the kids. Raise your kids to love people and not hate them. Especially under false pretenses. Unfortunately we have to just self preserve now. We have ashley and Brianna that are actively allowed to be a part of our family. So they will do family pictures with us and vacations this summer. They won't miss out on the memories and the crazy amount of love from everyone. They're ALLOWED to call my parents nana and pop because those are also their grandparents. And why not? Blood is the least of what makes someone family believe that. These girls are swarmed with love and gifts and fun activities because that's what they deserve. You shouldn't have to follow the law to allow Time with a parent. For example when Leighas mom was barely in the picture I wanted to give her that chance to step up and be Leighas mom. After all I'm the reason she stared to call her mom. You're welcome. I invited her to school events like field trips. I gave her the paper to order school pictures. I tried to keep everything kosher so Leigha didn't have to deal with the stress of people not getting along because that isn't fair to HER. Unfortunately reality hit when me and Michael got engaged to be married and it all went out the window. I'm tired of sitting by and not living my life because of anger and hostility. Step parents, just leave it be. You have your family and babies to take care of. I'll soon have a baby of my own to take care of. Preserve your family. If someone is with holding a child with lies and deceit then let it happen. Because nothing you do will make this better. And in the end you can honestly say you and your husband did not screw that child up because you only had a small insignificant amount of time with them. Take care of your family and your babies and one day the kids will be old enough to explain the situation to them and hopefully they'll want to hear the truth behind the story. Until then just keep praying and loving and wanting the best for all of your kids. Let them see both of their parents and shower everyone in love and kindness. Be kind to be happy. Because being angry isn't worth it. Does my husband actually cheat? Hahah!!! Nope. I know he works hard for me everyday and comes home to our bed with me. And that's what matters. Did I lose my job? Absolutely not. I'm flourishing at my job. I'm a marketing rep at the number one hospital in New Jersey and I rock at my job. Nothing happened. Just a bunch of people laughing at the craziness. Which seems to be a typical thing. Don't let angry bitter people ruin your life. Keep working hard and providing for your children. Keep your screen shots for when you need them and just enjoy life. As for me I'm going to get ready for brunch with my wonderful family and kids because I want my girls to grow up knowing ALL of their family. Enjoy your long weekend and don't forget to remember our fallen soldiers!

Kristen