Why I'm okay being an asshole

Recently my husband was hit with "I don't want to talk to Kristen anymore, only you" which had me DYING! I'm an asshole, and I'm okay with that. In my situation I have two baby mama's I deal with regularly and one thank the good God above I do not deal with (asshole, I know). 

Anyway, It always comes back to me being the scapegoat which I totally get because I'm the evil stepmom who's just so horrible. My oldest stepdaughters birthday party was almost canceled and who stepped in to save the day? Me. Who does my stepdaughter think threw this awesome party? Her mom. I never said anything about it because it wasn't worth the pettiness. My youngest stepdaughter can't seem to wear a coat in the winter so who bought the coat? Me. But when she says things like "I want you to be my new mommy" I immediately tell her that her mommy is wonderful and loves her more than anything in the world and she'll never ever have another mommy. Asshole, I know.

So here's why I don't mind being the asshole to these bio moms.

1. Who the eff cares. Seriously, think about that. I have women who go from absolutely loving me and everything I do to hating me because I called one of them out on the pacifier at four years old or the lack of proper sleeping arrangements. COME ON NOW. If that makes me an asshole, I'm okay with that because who the eff cares right? Go buy a bed and maybe I'll be nice again. Four years into this relationship with my husband and I stopped caring about getting along and started caring about the damn kids and who can and cannot take care of them.

2. It is absolutely about the kids. I promise you I can be the queen of petty like I'm a professional shade thrower sometimes. I have grown over the past couple years but I'm still pretty petty sometimes. Ultimately it is about your step kids though. In hindsight, I wish I would have held my tongue more in the past instead of telling someone she's ugly. She was but that was irrelevant at the time. I've come a long way the last four years but I'm an asshole because again I make it about the kids. If it's the difference between my youngest sleeping on the couch with her mom or a temper pedic bed in her own room then I'm going to choose her bed at my home. That's just how the cookie crumbles. So keep making it about the kids, if that makes you an asshole then so be it.

3. I've had time to grow up. I'm not super mature completely yet but I'm getting there. I used to get really upset when people told me I was this horrible stepmom or that my stepdaughters told their moms they hated me. I realize now how many lies there were amongst that and again the problem seems to be I don't allow them to lie to me or my husband. If you're gonna lie girlfriend, I'm gonna call you out on it. So when you make the decision to lie, the asshole is going to call you out. So just prepare yourself to be put on the spot. I had to grow up and realize that if being a concerned step parent for my step kids means I'm an asshole then I'm rocking the shit out of that hat.

4. I'm the scapegoat. Being the asshole new wife also means you're the scapegoat. That's cool. I'm alright with that because there's no other avenue for these women to go. It's my fault. Why? Because he married me! Accept this white hat and wear it proudly girl. I used to get so upset when women would make up lies about me and what I was doing. To this day this still happens! These bio moms will bait the shit out of you, walk away. Lord knows none of us have any damn bail money anyway. Be the scapegoat, be the asshole, be the evil stepmom. It's okay, paint your white hat pink if you'd like. That role in life will never change, so own the asshole name now.

5. Their opinions will never cut my paycheck. Recently, I debated shutting down my brand and walking away from all of it. My husband and I had a really long talk about us being in the spotlight and how some people are going to hate. Ironically the only haters I have are one of my kid's moms. Which is totally fine, again they will never cut my checks. So what if they think you're an asshole? I was called an asshole because I grounded my stepdaughter and forced her to go to school. GOD FORBID.  If I had a penny for every time I rolled my eyes I'd be a millionaire.

6. I run my brand like a champ. It's been said numerous times that my blog or my brand talks about baby mamas. It does, I'm a stepmom. The thing that apparently doesn't sit well with them that it's always the TRUTH. I don't always spread my personal business out on social media but sometimes I think "shit man, I'm a stepmom and there are some other awesome women out there going through this same damn thing". So I talk about it, and women email me all the time thanking me for not making them feel like they're alone. You're welcome because I too would probably catch some charges if I didn't have Jesus on my side.

the moral of the story here is, BE AN ASSHOLE. If they're telling you-you're an asshole it's probably because you're doing something right. You're not allowing them to lie to you or run your household. So go ahead, put the white hat on and prance around in it. Own that name because when you enter this stepmom life you have to get tough skin. So go on mama, keep being an asshole and raising those kids :)