Why we don't have boundaries

Last night I was legit at a point of frustration it wasn't even funny anymore. I feel like I've hit a wall with my family and my stepmom role. As a stepmom for almost four years, I've sort of ... deleted the boundaries. My situation was a little unique as my husband had sole custody of one child so when I met him it was just an automatic thing. Her mother hadn't been involved with her for years, supervised visits that were few and far between. Regardless, I was the mother figure. Everyone says "boundaries are important" which I can attest to .. they are. Certain boundaries are important but the boundaries that are automatically set for step parents aren't fair. Like how they can't discipline kids! We've tossed all the typical boundaries in the trash and we've made our own!

I've found myself full blown into mom mode especially since we recently took on my oldest full-time. This means middle school homework and drama. We recently had to ground her because of her school work..that's fun. Anyway, the point here today is most people will tell you to stick to boundaries and don't allow yourself to parent your step kids. They want these boundaries literally keeping you in your step parent box and not allowing you to breathe. Why?  I literally think that's absolutely insane, to put up this Chinese wall and separate lives? To not allow a stepparent to be a regular parent and have a say in what's going on  I've found I literally cannot do that with my situation, maybe other situations can. Either way here is why WE do not stick to the traditional boundaries for step parents!

1. The kids need to respect you as an adult in the house. I'm not necessarily saying tear down the wall but I am saying there needs to be a level of respect. Allowing a child to always go to the bio parent in the home to make sure rules are in fact rules is insane. When an adult of any sort sets down a rule, that's how it should be. Putting a step parent in a different pool just makes things way more complicated. Parents automatically command respect (or should) from their children. Kids grow up knowing that they're to respect their parents and that's it. With my step kids, I had to step into a parent role with some of them and now all of them to get the respect a parent does. I had to be able to ground my oldest in order for her to take me seriously. Otherwise, the kids will walk all over you and what good are you then? 

2. People will tell you that parenting belongs to the parent. But what defines a parent? And why is a step parent not allowed to lay ground rules? I'm not saying become the dominant parent to your husband's kids but they need to know that what you say goes. It can't be always running back to mom or dad to find out if there really is a rule about not eating crickets off the back porch. Parenting should be done by both of the parents. Now I'm speaking from experience of not having any of my own biological children so the only kids involved are my husbands.

3. Boundaries can support your partnership. Yup, they sure can. But I've seen so many stories of stepmoms who are made to feel as if their opinions don't matter regarding the kids. I've been in situations where I felt like "why are we accommodating this woman?". In my husband's eyes it's to keep the peace, in my eyes I can't comprehend why there would be a problem with me and not her. She's the cray cray one! Boundaries absolutely do help your partnership but you have to keep in mind it's a PARTNERSHIP. There are two people in the marriage and just because she didn't birth those children doesn't mean her opinion shouldn't matter. Take it into consideration, she has a neutral view of things. It may turn out better than you thought.

4. There cannot be any reason for the ex to attack the new wife. Let that one sink in for real, I spent such a good amount of time "keeping the peace" only to realize I'd been manipulated and used. I was always trying to keep things out of court or keep the fighting to a minimum. I didn't want to be attacked, my husband didn't want to fight with psychos. At the same time, I realized it was going to happen whether I spoke up or not. Whether I was telling her it wasn't okay to put band-aids on the kids because they're allergic to adhesive or that I agreed she deserved more time with her child. It ultimately didn't matter and setting up boundaries allows an ex to feel comfortable attacking the wife. Let's not allow that to happen. Allow yourself to speak up when you feel confident enough to do so, lay down the groundwork.

5. Kids are going to thrive when there are two active parents. I was told once I had no business showing up to parent-teacher conferences for my middle stepdaughter. Or for any of my children for that matter, because that's what they are, my children. I didn't birth them but I teach them and watch them grow every day. Currently, with my oldest we participate in back to school night and parent-teacher conferences but even last year when she didn't live with us we were invited to do so by her mother. Becuase we are in fact her parents and we care about her education just as much as the person she was living with. Kids need to know there's a village behind them to help them succeed in life and if they see ALL of their parents together helping them, it can only better the child.

Again, I have no children of my own (yet!) but I do consider my stepdaughters, my kids. I try to educate them, help them and do what I can to give them a great life. I've learned in my situation that setting up boundaries can help but most of the time they don't. I do suggest that if you are agreeable to stepping into the mom role to set up boundaries requiring your husband to not dump all of the crap on you. Ultimately you're not the bio mom and he should be responsible for helping. This goes for your own children! Marriage is fifty-fifty but you definitely need to break down some walls in order for everyone to get along and feel like everyone matters. Maybe this will help your situation!

What I wish I would have known

I feel like I've said this before but I'll say it again. As a little girl growing up I didn't dream of being a step mom. It wasn't something I was shooting for or something I really wanted to be. It literally just happened one day! At the ripe age of 25, I met my husband and his THREE girls and their THREE moms. Scary right? yeah, just a tad. Now that were going on four years together and two years married I'd like to share with you wonderful step mama's what I wish I would have known before venturing into this wonderful life as a step mom :)

1. DO YOUR DAMN RESEARCH. If I could scream this at every woman who is even thinking about getting attached to a man with kids I would. I wish I would have sat down on Pinterest or even google and just read what half the things other step moms were saying. You should be reading things until they're absolutely terrifying to you because just when you think it's terrible, bio mom will do something even more insane and set your world on fire. trust me. Your best bet is to read step mom blogs and find out what the real deal is so you have the opportunity to run if you want.

2. You have to take time out for each other. This is such a big thing I really can't stress enough. Again, three kids and three bio moms. That's literally a storm waiting to happen. It's always something and we have our twelve year old all the time right now so that just adds to the chaos. Thankfully we work extremely well with her mom and are in constant contact so that works great. Regardless you have to make time for your relationship or resentment is going to start to happen. If you're not willing to put out some extra effort don't bother with being a step parent. Unfortunately, you're coming into a crazy life and you just have to work a little harder.

3. Spending one on one time with your step kids is extremely important. My oldest was eight when I met her and that was the hardest relationship to form. It was hard because she'd already had eight entire years with her mom. She knew the ins and outs of life with her mom, every bruise, scrape, and disappointment. I was this new lady coming into her dad's life who didn't have the best track record in the past with women. She didn't know what to do, who to trust or where to go. Eventually when we were super stable and living together things just fell into place. As she got older it was still difficult, now that we have her full time it's easier to get to know her and who she is as a human and a little adult. Just be aware when kids are older it's going to be much more difficult to form that relationship and bond. Don't take it negatively, just be prepared.

4. You need to be ready to be on the worst roller coaster of your life, and you're probably going to throw up. Not everyone is in a situation like mine where there are three women but I can personally tell you life has sucked on and off. Some bio moms are more psychotic than others, everybody's situation is different. Mike's ex-wife is more likely to go through me than my husband lol. We co parent really well and know how open communication works. And our twelve-year-old is thriving off of that because that's what matters. I'm in a working relationship with our youngest that still deals with its issues but you have to realize this is going to happen. Blow out fights are GOING TO HAPPEN. You have to take the hits when they come and try to deal with it.

5. If you decide to take on being a step mom (Bless your heart) you need to find a support group NOW. I waited years before finding a support group and once I did it was the best thing I could have done for myself. These groups allow you to vent as a step mom and not feel guilty. You can commiserate on things that are going on with bio mom and not be judged. Those are your girlfriends, those are the people that are going to be your rock at the end of the day. Find yourself a good group of fellow step moms and stick with them. 

6. Finally, you don't have to participate in every argument that's thrown your way. I can tell you right now I battle with this CONSTANTLY, especially being in the public eye now. I've been antagonized constantly until I had some sort of reaction. At the end of the day, if you're going to be a step mom, you need tough skin. And you better get it quickly cupcake. I've had people call me fat, put pig faces on Facebook detailing me, I've had women suggest I'm getting a divorce and they're moving in with my husband. Crazy is crazy girlfriend and you need to be able to protect yourself. Put your guard up and walk away from anything that doesn't better you. Unfortunately, step moms are still considered evil people so your best bet is to ignore the haters and love those kids. 

I genuinely hope these are helpful to any current step parents or any one considering becoming a step parent. I wish I would have had access to something like this when I first met my husband. It's at least something to warn you it's not for the weak! 

Tweens and technology

I'm not sure about anyone else but the massive amount of technology available to our kids these days is mind blowing. My oldest goes to middle school, seventh grade (now that I feel old) and she has a cell phone. Now when I was twelve cell phones weren't a thing, our internet made that horrible sound and I had to get off the internet when my mom wanted to use the phone ...

So what's the opinion on technology use and when to start it? I was fifteen when I got a phone and that's when you had to hit the letter "P" four times to get the letter you wanted and there was zero internet on it! Do teens really need cell phones? If you ask my kid she would probably die without it. As I'm writing this my tween is texting me about how she got a seat at the front of the bus this afternoon LOL! So here are some pros and cons of technology use in tweens! Let me know what you think and your opinions on when to start your littles on technology!

Pros:

1. Constant contact. So my oldest goes to middle school and it does give me a sense of relief to know that if something were to happen she'd have a line of contact to myself or my husband immediately. She walks home by herself every day after school and it's good to know where she is and what she's doing and just have that contact with her.

2. It's a bargaining tool. Seriously, threaten to take your kid's phone away and see how all of a sudden they know where their chore chart is and how to complete all of them! It's catastrophic when you threaten to take a phone or iPad or whatever it is they have. 

3. Easy tracking. This is pretty cool especially with the phones being so private. There's a tracking device on Brianna's phone that monitors everything she does down to google searches and how much time she's spending on the electronics. This is great because it gives them the freedom of the phone but also monitors to make sure nothing shady is going down. Becuase at the end of the day, people are psycho and do crappy things to kids so being able to monitor is great. I didn't have that when I was a kid but I'm thinking maybe I should have!

4. Technology is the real deal now. This is where our society is come to and I fully believe kids need to be introduced to it young. I had to sign papers at Brianna's school for her to use her Ipad and cell phone and download apps. They use google drive at school. Literally, everything is online so kids really do need to get a grip on it early enough so they don't' fall behind in school. It's just the reality.

5.It teaches responsibility. We're at a point where if we give you an electronic and you break it, tough shit. Guess you better save up your allowance. Kids are now given more responsibility in these electronics to keep them from breaking, dropping in water, getting lost or stolen. It teaches them to take care of things and once they're gone, they're gone. So stepping up and being a responsible kid is definitely being taught daily.

Cons:

1. Scary scary world. Need I say more? Technology these days has brought so much freedom to kids and unfortunately, a lot are not monitored. These apps like snap chat or music.ly or god knows what else allow predators to monitor your children and stalk them. Snap chat even lets you tag your location in it! People can run with all kinds of information and that needs to be a huge point to parents when buying their children these devices.

2. Overweight kids. Can we just be honest and say this is a legit problem? Kids are far more likely nowadays to grab their phone and veg out on the couch after school and do absolutely nothing. This is terrible! we had no other options as kids other than to do our homework and go play outside! This in turn is making our children overweight and teaching them nothing. I don't even care if they're educational games, if it's nice outside then GO OUTSIDE.

3. Increased cheating at school. Honestly, I'm not a kid anymore but I could see this being an issue. It makes sense as to why kids can't have cell phones during class. Minus the distractions, it's easy access to internet and information. You need to learn and not by cheating with a cell phone. Look at your friends test like the old days!

Ultimately this is the generation that just had a butt load of electronics at their finger tips. It's in schools, it's at home, it's everywhere. Cell phones can be very useful for kids and they do have some decent pros. I fully believe with good monitoring kids can have electronics and succeed in life as long as there's rules and boundaries regarding these electronics. What are your thoughts on cell phones and electronics with your kiddos?

Dear Bio Moms

I'm not sure about anyone else but I feel like there's a lot that ends up left unsaid between bio moms and step moms. I feel like there's a weird limbo sometimes where you really want to say something but it's super uncomfortable because well ... drama. Who the heck wants to deal with that?

Well! I've been a step mom going on four years shortly and I've learned SO MANY LESSONS. One of which is to stop keeping my mouth shut, hence my now very public brand! I've given bio moms the benefit of the doubt and I've been spit on and lied to. So here's a dedicated blog to all the bio moms out there as to what's really going on in our minds and what we're really thinking!

1. WE LOVE YOUR CHILDREN. *gasp* I said it. Suck it up. I understand you're bio mom and that kid came out of your cooch but children are encouraged to love people. Why can't more than one person love your kid? We love all the same things about them that YOU do! Their laugh, their jokes, their incessant need to play with purple sand they don't actually like. The way they figure out how to blow bubbles in their cup. They may not have come from us but dammit we love them also. We may not have that immediate motherly bond with them but there's a different kind of bond and it's filled with love. I promise.

2. We aren't trying to replace you. Seriously, read that again girlfriend. I deal with three different baby mamas and can only keep a relationship with ONE because were real with each other. I can count on one hand how many blow out fights we've had screaming at each other but look at us ... adulting. Becuase she KNOWS I'm not trying to replace her as a mother. Seriously that's the legit truth, it's not smoke and mirrors. Plenty of step moms have their own biological children. We're literally married into this and for the sake of the child's mental and emotional health, we try to make this a family. Let that happen. Don't let your craziness and your insecurities affect your kid, because that isn't fair and you know it.

3. We want to get along with you. Legit we want to form a relationship. I've tried to form relationships with baby moms and I have zero relationships with one, sort of a relationship with another and a sister wife relationship with my husband's ex-wife. Mainly because she's the most mature! There's never a time where we WANT to hate you and create drama. There's a whole list of things in my head and hating you is NOT one of them. I've done Mothers Day gifts for my bio moms, I've sent text messages, I've put my feelings second in order to preserve theirs. So take that into consideration when you're genuinely just thinking that we married your ex for drama's sake. Trust me, we'd rather be on a beach in the Bahamas drinking Bay breezes than fighting with you.

4. We love your ex, even if you don't. My husband's ex-wife will tell you she still loves my husband but she isn't IN love with my husband. Comes off weird at first right? But my husband helped create this super awesome tiny human and for that, he is loved. She fell out of love with him when they got divorced and that's okay. I married him because I LOVE him and that's what matters. Everyone is trying their best in these situations so let's try to keep it kosher. Just remember he's my husband and there will always be a form of protection there regardless of who's wrong.

5. Divorce sucks, I know. I would never wish a divorce on anyone or a breakup. Ideally, two people make a baby and they're together forever. But the reality of that is it's just not true all the time. In my step kids situations, they were young enough to where life really just seemed normal to travel between two homes and have two sets of parents. My youngest Ashley will never know any different. It's always been Kristen and daddy and mommy and whoever she's with. That's just life but I would never want a kid to have to go through that. So let's just play the same game and try to ensure this child has a really awesome life okay?

6. Being a step mom is not what I envisioned for myself when I was younger. Can we just be honest here? No step mom ever sat around dreaming of their wedding to a man who's divorced with three kids by three different moms. That literally never even occurred to us. But here I am ... living the life. Step moms have always been shown as evil people (thanks, Disney, jerk). But this is the life I chose with my husband and I'm willing to swallow my pride on most things and try to live my life the way I want. Remember sharing my house and finances wasn't something I chose either. so when you try to get my husband to "not tell me something" just realize that isn't going to work. I'm going to know everything and just like I swallow my pride, you're going to have to swallow yours. Kay?

7. Sometimes you genuinely need to stop being so fucking crazy, there I said it. Sit down and turn the psycho off. I'm not saying every bio mom is this way but two out of three of mine are and that's not a fun ratio. I get your protecting your kids but relax. Get a glass of wine and get to know me and understand me before you go nuts. Don't text my husband in the middle of the night asking stupid questions. Don't tell him to not tell me things. Don't tell him you miss him or want him back. Seriously, it's over. lay off. You are co parenting, please leave it at that. I'm not the jealous type but certain things send up red flags for me, so please just be normal and parent your kid. please. 

What the heck is organic?

Hey there! I was just online looking at some organic fruits and veggies to make my shopping list for the upcoming week and thought this would be some great information for my parents out there! I started going mostly organic a few years ago after some Netflix documentary. It was kind of disturbing how many chemicals and additives are going into our food. I recently lost 100 pounds and I really just wanted to be healthier and watch what was going into my home. This post specifically is going to go over some fun examples and products that I use in my home to protect my kiddos!

1. Method. I use this ALL THE TIME. They have all purpose cleaners. I get the pink one that smells like grapefruit! I can use that while I'm dusting, or wiping down the kitchen tables and counters. They also have an antibacterial cleaner. The one I purchased had a really strong scent sort of like bleach so in the future I'll definitely get a better smelling one. I tend to use that in the kid's bathrooms and our bathroom so there aren't gross germs just floating around places. They also have floor cleaner. I've used this when I've had wood floors and it actually does work pretty well. It leaves a nice shine on your floor without feeling like you're probably going to slide across the floor when you step on it. I've always got their foam pump soap in the bathroom. It's a little more pricey than normal soap but in reality, you can put some perspective on it. Your kids' hands go in their mouths, up their noses and God knows where else. So at least this soap isn't full of chemicals to add to the junk.

2. Babo Botanicals. I'm such a HUGE fan of this product line. I used to use Johnson's baby wash because it was tear free! Then when I did some research into WHY it was tear free it explained to me there were chemicals in the baby wash to numb their eyes so it doesn't sting. Ugh ... What?! I dont know why it never crossed my mind to question that before but then I got a brain and researched it. SO I bought one of those fancy bath caps and got new shampoo! Babo Botanicals has a baby wash that's shampoo and body wash and Ashley's used almost all of them. Right now she has the sports product that smells like cucumbers. She's also used the oatmeal bath one when she was having issues with yeast infections and cradle cap. Worked like a charm, smelled a little weird. Now that her hair is longer we use the berry one that helps detangle everything. The great thing about Babo is they have lotions to match! This one is the lavender lotion I like to use since bath time is usually right before bedtime. It helps calm her down and get her relaxed and ready for bed!

3. Seventh Generation. I've used a few of their products such as their paper towels. They work like normal paper towels and they soak up pretty much anything, like Ashley's thrown up macaroni and cheese a couple weeks ago. That was fun. I've also used their baby wipes which aren't terrible but they're expensive for the amount you get. I used a sample of diapers I had a long time ago and they didn't seem to hold much at all, even if I changed her every two hours. They felt a bit like cardboard also.

4. Mrs. Meyers. I've always been a fan of this line and even before I had the kids I would always lean towards this company. I actually have their room spray, my husband hates it. I love it. It smells like lavender and he farts like a demon and it even covers up his stench! This company also has really decent prices so I don't feel like I'm paying an arm and a leg for an organic product. I also use their hand soap when they have their holiday sales because who doesn't enjoy pumpkin everything right? I've used their detergent in the past and it's not terrible, but you do have to add a bit more to your laundry to get stains out. Lord knows I have enough kids and enough stains I need heavy duty!

Those are definitely my top four companies I would go to for my organic house products. I feel better especially when I'm cleaning my house that I'm not sanitizing things with more chemicals. It's really gross and they smell pretty terrible when you really think about it. Try out some of these products and let me know what you think!

*This post contains affilliate links that I do get compensated for. I will not back any product I don't completely agree with or support though!*

How to potty train and keep your sanity!

How it's only Wednesday is beyond me, I'm exhausted! I recently read an article about potty training and it literally took me to a flashback of the last year of my life. My youngest step-daughter is about to be FOUR! A month after she turned two I was completely over diapers and ready to potty train. The great thing was, so was she! Her sisters are older and went to the bathroom by themselves and she showed every indication that she also wanted to go! Now let me preface with we have her every weekend so on those days we were actively potty training and then during the week it wasn't happening. I don't know about you but when I was over diapers, I was OVER it. 

So even though my situation was a tad bit different on potty training with this little princess I wanted to jot some ideas down for you all on potty training tips and techniques. You can also sign up to get my full comprehensive list of the dos and donts of potty training! It's my entire list of what we used, how long it took and what didn't work for us. So make sure you sign up for that little gem! Happy potty training!

1. First off, we bought a potty seat. Which is kind of awesome, you'll hear older generations complain about them but seriously. Where was this when I was a kid? I would have had a lot less wet butts if we had this. We got one like this Princess Potty Seat and it was cheap and we just plop it on there when she needs to go and it helps. Especially when she's tired! It also makes it fun for them to go because they get to use their special potty seat! You can always get a potty like this to sit in front of the TV, I sort of wish I would have done that originally. Now I know!

2. Get your rewards! We seriously started with full-sized Hershey kisses and after the second sugar high, we quickly downgraded to Hershey chips LOL! We also did rewards stickers that she got to put on a chart every time she went on the potty. They helped out a lot and also made it fun to decorate her chart.

3. Shop for underwear! The word panties freaks me out with little girls, I know I'm weird! Anyway, you can go buy any kind of underwear your princess wants! I got these for Ashley and she loved them! You can always take them shopping with you to make the experience exciting for new things! Little boys are definitely excited for ninja turtles or whatever they may be into! Just make sure they know they cannot pee in them!

4. Be consistent. My biggest problem was that Ashley wasn't getting consistency at both of her homes. So we were potty training and they were putting her in a diaper. That went on for almost a year when Ashley literally just figured out where she can pee on herself and where she can't. That was terrible. Make sure even when it gets hard you're continuing the potty training! That way they get used to it and it becomes more habitual!

These are just a FEW of my awesome tips and tricks for potty training your kid! Make sure you enter your email to get my full list on how to make potty training easy and save your sanity!

binky or no binky?

I'm almost positive I barely made it through this week! Goodness Gracious Alabama. SO I was recently part of a blogger group that discussed different aspects of parenting and the pros and cons of different things and one of the issues was pacifiers. Now if you know anything about me you know I HATE pacifiers, to the moon and back I hate those things. Now that's my opinion nor do I judge anyone who gives their child a pacifier. To each, his own and that's how the cookie crumbles right? I've touched on this subject subtly before but with this focus group I think it was a great way to touch on the pacifier again, I'd also like any feedback from people who have used pacifiers and also have pros and cons of using them! 

Pros:

1. The American Academy of Pediatrics has seen a drop in SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) in children that have used pacifiers. Although during my research they seemed to be back on forth on this and a little hypocritical. In one sentence they say it reduces SIDS but at the same time, they say that babies don't sleep as soundly when they have a pacifier. You're also encouraged not to use a pacifier while breastfeeding so I feel like there's pro's and cons within this one as well.

2. Pacifier use helps your child with their sucking if they have issues from birth. Some children have an issue when they're born and have to be taught how to suck so they can eat properly. A pacifier is a great way to encourage this behavior and help a child. Babies that are born addicted to drugs tend to have an issue learning how to suck because of the withdrawal and pacifiers help this. The First Years Pacifier helps with this issue and is soft like a nipple so its meant to teach the baby how to suck.

3. Babies that have acid reflux tend to use pacifiers because it encourages saliva production which helps neutralize acid in the stomach. I had zero idea that this was a pro until I did my research so I'll be keeping this in mind for when our little one is born! This binky claims to not affect how their teeth form as long as it's taken by the age of 1.

Cons:

1. Pacifiers are linked to higher rates of ear infections. Ashley had a MASSIVE amount of ear infections while she was at an infant age. I'm talking 8 in 10 weeks. Constantly. While having the binky she was also constantly exposed to second-hand smoke which is also a risk factor for ear infections. (let me preface with my husband and I don't smoke but you can only control what goes on at YOUR home right?).

2. Pacifiers create massive dental problems. This is such a problem it's not even funny. Again as co parents, you can only control what goes on at your house but Ashley is four and still gets a pacifier at her other home and her teeth are JACKED. Like she'll need severe orthodontal work it's insane. When I was little I was a thumb sucker and by the age of maybe 3 (correct me if I'm wrong mom) my mother was constantly telling me to take my thumb out because it had turned into a habit and could have created massive dental issues. Thank God for my mom because I have gorgeous teeth now! 

3. It can interfere with breastfeeding. It's encouraged not to breastfeed and use a pacifier. Breastfeeding can also reduce the risk of SIDS and help a baby sleep more soundly so there's really no need for a pacifier if you're breastfeeding. But not everyone is able to breastfeed so that's something you have to decide based on the situation. This pacifier is recommended by pediatricians to use if you are breastfeeding and your baby still requires a pacifier. The rounded nipple shape helps with less confusion.

4. Pacifiers become a crutch. They absolutely do, when Ashley's pacifier gets taken (she's almost four) right before she comes to our house she screams like the demons are coming straight from hell, it's incredible. BUT that's a con of getting a child used to a pacifier and then not yanking it at an appropriate age. She's now used to this pacifier and wants it for comfort reasons or habitual reasons. We took it from her before she was a year old, probably around 9 or 10 months old. She's never ever asked for it because she knows we don't have one at our house. We did it early enough so that it wouldn't create this form of chaos. So if your child does get a binky, do yourself a favor and take it before it gets incredibly hard.

These are just a few of the pros and cons I've researched about. Ultimately unless the situation occurs that a pacifier will genuinely help my child with a medical issue, I think i'll leave the binky out of my life. And pacifiers are great for the first year of life if needed but if you don't take it, prep for the reoccuring meltdowns for a week when they get attached. Everyone has their own opinion and way of parenting and that's totally fine! Let me know of your pros and cons of binky use! 

Kristen

*There are affiliate links in this blog post and I do make a commission off of them. The opinions and products in this blog post are solely mine and I would not promote a product if I didn't back it completely*