How to potty train and keep your sanity!

How it's only Wednesday is beyond me, I'm exhausted! I recently read an article about potty training and it literally took me to a flashback of the last year of my life. My youngest step-daughter is about to be FOUR! A month after she turned two I was completely over diapers and ready to potty train. The great thing was, so was she! Her sisters are older and went to the bathroom by themselves and she showed every indication that she also wanted to go! Now let me preface with we have her every weekend so on those days we were actively potty training and then during the week it wasn't happening. I don't know about you but when I was over diapers, I was OVER it. 

So even though my situation was a tad bit different on potty training with this little princess I wanted to jot some ideas down for you all on potty training tips and techniques. You can also sign up to get my full comprehensive list of the dos and donts of potty training! It's my entire list of what we used, how long it took and what didn't work for us. So make sure you sign up for that little gem! Happy potty training!

1. First off, we bought a potty seat. Which is kind of awesome, you'll hear older generations complain about them but seriously. Where was this when I was a kid? I would have had a lot less wet butts if we had this. We got one like this Princess Potty Seat and it was cheap and we just plop it on there when she needs to go and it helps. Especially when she's tired! It also makes it fun for them to go because they get to use their special potty seat! You can always get a potty like this to sit in front of the TV, I sort of wish I would have done that originally. Now I know!

2. Get your rewards! We seriously started with full-sized Hershey kisses and after the second sugar high, we quickly downgraded to Hershey chips LOL! We also did rewards stickers that she got to put on a chart every time she went on the potty. They helped out a lot and also made it fun to decorate her chart.

3. Shop for underwear! The word panties freaks me out with little girls, I know I'm weird! Anyway, you can go buy any kind of underwear your princess wants! I got these for Ashley and she loved them! You can always take them shopping with you to make the experience exciting for new things! Little boys are definitely excited for ninja turtles or whatever they may be into! Just make sure they know they cannot pee in them!

4. Be consistent. My biggest problem was that Ashley wasn't getting consistency at both of her homes. So we were potty training and they were putting her in a diaper. That went on for almost a year when Ashley literally just figured out where she can pee on herself and where she can't. That was terrible. Make sure even when it gets hard you're continuing the potty training! That way they get used to it and it becomes more habitual!

These are just a FEW of my awesome tips and tricks for potty training your kid! Make sure you enter your email to get my full list on how to make potty training easy and save your sanity!

binky or no binky?

I'm almost positive I barely made it through this week! Goodness Gracious Alabama. SO I was recently part of a blogger group that discussed different aspects of parenting and the pros and cons of different things and one of the issues was pacifiers. Now if you know anything about me you know I HATE pacifiers, to the moon and back I hate those things. Now that's my opinion nor do I judge anyone who gives their child a pacifier. To each, his own and that's how the cookie crumbles right? I've touched on this subject subtly before but with this focus group I think it was a great way to touch on the pacifier again, I'd also like any feedback from people who have used pacifiers and also have pros and cons of using them! 

Pros:

1. The American Academy of Pediatrics has seen a drop in SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) in children that have used pacifiers. Although during my research they seemed to be back on forth on this and a little hypocritical. In one sentence they say it reduces SIDS but at the same time, they say that babies don't sleep as soundly when they have a pacifier. You're also encouraged not to use a pacifier while breastfeeding so I feel like there's pro's and cons within this one as well.

2. Pacifier use helps your child with their sucking if they have issues from birth. Some children have an issue when they're born and have to be taught how to suck so they can eat properly. A pacifier is a great way to encourage this behavior and help a child. Babies that are born addicted to drugs tend to have an issue learning how to suck because of the withdrawal and pacifiers help this. The First Years Pacifier helps with this issue and is soft like a nipple so its meant to teach the baby how to suck.

3. Babies that have acid reflux tend to use pacifiers because it encourages saliva production which helps neutralize acid in the stomach. I had zero idea that this was a pro until I did my research so I'll be keeping this in mind for when our little one is born! This binky claims to not affect how their teeth form as long as it's taken by the age of 1.

Cons:

1. Pacifiers are linked to higher rates of ear infections. Ashley had a MASSIVE amount of ear infections while she was at an infant age. I'm talking 8 in 10 weeks. Constantly. While having the binky she was also constantly exposed to second-hand smoke which is also a risk factor for ear infections. (let me preface with my husband and I don't smoke but you can only control what goes on at YOUR home right?).

2. Pacifiers create massive dental problems. This is such a problem it's not even funny. Again as co parents, you can only control what goes on at your house but Ashley is four and still gets a pacifier at her other home and her teeth are JACKED. Like she'll need severe orthodontal work it's insane. When I was little I was a thumb sucker and by the age of maybe 3 (correct me if I'm wrong mom) my mother was constantly telling me to take my thumb out because it had turned into a habit and could have created massive dental issues. Thank God for my mom because I have gorgeous teeth now! 

3. It can interfere with breastfeeding. It's encouraged not to breastfeed and use a pacifier. Breastfeeding can also reduce the risk of SIDS and help a baby sleep more soundly so there's really no need for a pacifier if you're breastfeeding. But not everyone is able to breastfeed so that's something you have to decide based on the situation. This pacifier is recommended by pediatricians to use if you are breastfeeding and your baby still requires a pacifier. The rounded nipple shape helps with less confusion.

4. Pacifiers become a crutch. They absolutely do, when Ashley's pacifier gets taken (she's almost four) right before she comes to our house she screams like the demons are coming straight from hell, it's incredible. BUT that's a con of getting a child used to a pacifier and then not yanking it at an appropriate age. She's now used to this pacifier and wants it for comfort reasons or habitual reasons. We took it from her before she was a year old, probably around 9 or 10 months old. She's never ever asked for it because she knows we don't have one at our house. We did it early enough so that it wouldn't create this form of chaos. So if your child does get a binky, do yourself a favor and take it before it gets incredibly hard.

These are just a few of the pros and cons I've researched about. Ultimately unless the situation occurs that a pacifier will genuinely help my child with a medical issue, I think i'll leave the binky out of my life. And pacifiers are great for the first year of life if needed but if you don't take it, prep for the reoccuring meltdowns for a week when they get attached. Everyone has their own opinion and way of parenting and that's totally fine! Let me know of your pros and cons of binky use! 

Kristen

*There are affiliate links in this blog post and I do make a commission off of them. The opinions and products in this blog post are solely mine and I would not promote a product if I didn't back it completely*

How to raise an introverted child

As I write this blog this morning I'm thinking of both my step daughters who are very clearly different. Ashley who is going to be four very shortly ( I don't know how that happened ) is our extrovert child. She's outgoing, will talk to anyone and play with anyone. She's the light of the room all the time, ultimately she's my spitting image. I'm a marketing representative for a hospital and that's my personality. My beautiful soon to be twelve year old is a spitting image of her father. She's very introverted, doesn't feel the need to be the center of attention or be around people all of the time. She's a very polite, well raised child who likes to be alone most of the time. These girls are the sunshine in my day and today I want to touch base with you guys on how to raise an introverted child in an extroverted world. Here's some tips I hope help!

1. Do not be ashamed to be an introvert.

Don't make kids feel bad for not wanting to be the center of attention. Or being overly shy in situations. Sometimes with introverted kids they don't want to do things that other kids would do normally. Your job as their parent is to make them feel comfortable enough to go into the world and not feel weird about being an introvert. Some kids like big crowds, some don't. Either way is okay.

2. Give them some time by themselves.

This one I've been picking up lately with Brianna. She's twelve so it's already an age where when they say "leave me alone" that's genuinely what they mean. There's no hidden message now. Introverts tend to need time by themselves to recharged. My husband is also an introvert who does well in social situations now but even at home he's more likely to choose a movie night at home with me and the kids than a night out somewhere. It's just who he is and I'm trying to conform and understand him so I can give him that time by himself. Even if he needs to just go wash the car or sit in the room for a bit. When Brianna gives me an answer or just wants to be quiet on the ride home, I have to be cool with that.

3. Assist them on how to express their feelings properly

So if you know my husband, you know he doesn't do feelings. like ever. The only raw emotion I can get from him is anger, sometimes sadness if something is really bad. Brianna is the same way, I could tell her we got tickets for 21 pilots and she'd give me a smile LOL! That's about all the excitement you'll get out of her, and that's okay. My job is to teach her how to express feelings regularly. If you feel you're being bullied I have to teach her how to speak up for herself. She just said to me the other day sometimes she can't say no to people because she's too nice. My job is to teach her how to be able to say no politely and walk away. Introverts tend not to like confrontation so they don't deal with it. 

4. Arrange more play dates instead of group activities

Michael does really well at parties now but he wasn't always that way. And like her dad, Brianna does really well in smaller groups. Where Ashley can go to a party with thirty grown ups and hold conversations with all of them. Arrange more smaller group activities for your introvert, this makes them feel more in control and tend to engage socially better this way. When introverts get older they still need to be able to function in society, so after school clubs are a great way to get them involved in social activities that aren't like a coming out party to them.

5. Talk to the school and their teachers

Sometimes kids get lost in the crowd. School is a great place for introverts as ironic as that sounds. It gets them involved socially with other children and puts them in situations where they're required to problem solve. Just make sure the school and their teachers know she's a bit shy and introverted and putting them on the spot makes them nervous. Once the teachers know how a child is they're better off working around a child and working them into certain things. Tween and teenagers have it tough to begin with. Make it a bit easier for them!

I hope some of this helps with your introverted kids! Introvert, Extrovert, doesn't matter! You can help your child succeed in life as long as you're willing to listen to your child and really help them in whatever they want!

Kristen

To my tween daughter ... you are perfect

So ... in a few short weeks my oldest will be TWELVE. She's my wonderful step daughter and I met her when she was a wee eight years old. In the past three years I've watched her grow into such an awesome person. So not only is she turning twelve on September 7th, she also goes back to school September 7th! This is her 7th grade year and I'm almost positive her mother is going to have a coronary. We've been blessed enough to raise this child with two moms and make it clear to her who her family is. To be honest .. I think she'd prefer two moms LOL! Anyway, so in light of her starting her 7th grade year shortly and turning twelve, here my love is a letter telling you all about how wonderful YOU are and how life is going to throw you lemons. I'm going to teach you how to throw them back ;)

1. You're perfect.

Now I don't mean to make this about you being big headed but I am telling you that you are a wonderful tiny human being. You're at such a beautiful age where the world is dark and scary but at the same time you pick the flowers that make it beautiful. You are a spitting image of your mom mom and you're so lucky for that. You're smart, and witty and your banter with me makes me laugh thinking about it. You're quick with your comebacks and you have such a soft heart. I want you to know in my eyes you are perfect and no matter what happens, I've got your perfect back!

2. People are going to suck, and I'm sorry.

As you enter into 7th grade you've become very well aware that some people do in fact suck. We've had this conversation recently but I want to reiterate to you that they do suck. They're going to continue to suck. As you get into your 7th grade year this will be continue to be true and I want you to walk away from people like this. Always give people the benefit of the doubt but if it's a continued behavior ... continue to walk away from it. I'm sorry you have to deal with people that suck but that will be your entire life and my job my dear is to tell you how to give those people the middle finger and realize you're better than that.

3. Learn how to problem solve

So I'm sorry to say your father at 33 years of age is still struggling to problem solve. We all remember the cookie incident of 2017. But you are brilliant and wonderful and can accomplish anything. There are going to be times where you're in a situation that isn't ideal and you're going to learn how to solve the problem. You're step mama over here got stuck on the turnpike once without money to get OFF the turnpike. yup. that happened. Don't tell Nana. But I problem solved and got money from a nice stranger to get off the turnpike. Those situations will prepare you for the rest of your life and you will appreciate the times you get stuck and have to get out.

4. Don't ever let someone bully you.

Believe it or not I was bullied most of my high school career :( Yeah. It sucked. I won't lie. And nana was great and stood up for me and let me try and handle what I could. I think I was much less aggressive than I am now and didn't learn that until my late twenties. Either way I want you to stand up for yourself in every single situation. Even if it's with me, mommy or daddy. If something is happening that you don't agree with, let me hear your voice banana. Let me hear what your thoughts and emotions and opinions are. If something is happening to you and someone is bullying you, speak! Tell them to fuck off, or tell me and I'll tell them to fuck off. Don't let people walk all over you and use you. You my darling are made to be incredible and you should let people treat you as such.

5. Put down the electronics

SO fun fact ; your step mom didn't have a cell phone until she was FIFTEEN. And when I did get a phone you had to hit the letter P FOUR times to get the letter you wanted. I didn't have the ipad or anything and when I connected to the internet on the computer it made a terrible sound. Seriously. I know that you love snap chat and facebook and whatever it is you do, but don't lose your childhood through the phone. Also the whole people sucking thing tends to happen over social media. Remember people get ballsy when they don't have to say it to your face. So make sure you take time to memorize your sisters favorite song, or what it sounds like when your dad gets home. Just take this in, because one day you'll be old like me and wish you could go back. 

6. Watch your weight, but don't make it a thing.

This is such a touchy subject but I'm going to say it. Hormones are going to tear your body apart. We teach you healthy choices because it's eventually going to matter. I don't want you to end up at 27 years old, 257 pounds and hating yourself. And the people who call you fat, or piggy, or make oink sounds. Because shitty people do shitty things. Just take in healthy options while you have the chance to teach yourself and you'll stay just as perfect as you are.

7. Don't compare yourself to other people.

Seriously, everybody is different. There was a girl in my middle school who we all thought had big boobs and hated her for it. Turns out when we got to high school and grew into our boobs, hers sucked! Some people won't have to work at all to get an A in math, some people (like me) will work as hard as they can and still not do as good. That's life and that doesn't diminish your shine at all. I promise. Everyone can be wonderful in their own way! I'm a fantastic writer who's created this awesome brand, daddy knows more about politics (as were all well aware of). So just find your niche. Whatever you choose to do, be amazing at it.

The point is, twelve is a tough age. And unfortunately sunshine it gets worse before it gets better. I was 25 before it got better and I met your dad. I made some bad choices and I made some good ones. I want you to know we respect your wishes and when you ask for something. You're becoming a grown up and we are going to treat you as such. Just know you are a wonderful tiny human being and I'm so insanely blessed to be your step mom. I cant wait to celebrate your birthday with you and continue to watch you grow into something absolutely incredible. You my love are the sunshine in my life. I love you banana cakes. 

Your probably super crazy embarrassing Step Mom.

Blogger Recognition Award

Hey! and happy Tuesday! Because I know you're all just so excited not to be at least halfway through the week! But on this glorious Tuesday I have received the "Blogger Recognition Award"! I was nominated by For the Sake of Good Taste! Make sure you click on her link and check out HER wonderful blog! I wanted to thank everyone for the nomination AND the award! 

My blog started a few years ago just as a step mom blog that detailed the INSANE nonsense that was happening in my life. I was going through a lot with my family and I felt documenting it for other parents and step parents to know about made people feel like they weren't so alone. It wasn't until recently I began really branding myself and making The Wonderful Life of a Step Mom a brand! 

As a new blogger I had ZERO idea what I was doing and was really just winging it. My advice to someone who wants to blog would be to go on pinterest and research EVERYTHING. There's so many different blogs you can have so you really need to look into what kind of blog you want and what you want out of it. Do you want to make money? Do you want to just have fun? Find what you want and what time you have to give and go from there. I would also suggest finding a niche and this is super popular advice. Whether it's travel blogging, family, fashion, whatever. I hit a little bit of all with my blog since it's family oriented, find your niche and stick with it :)

I really appreciate this award and can't wait to see what the future brings me! Thanks to all of my followers and my awesome support system I have. I really love what I do with this brand and I'm so glad I can help others in their trials and tribulations. Have a wonderful day everyone!

Beautiful Williamsburg Virginia

Hey, happy Thursday!! A little while back I and my husband went down to the beautiful state of Virginia! We both love history so much and were always looking for fun places to take the kids. We stayed at the Comfort Inn in Williamsburg Virginia. 

Williamsburg Virginia is one of the top tourist destinations and is also an awesome place for families! I and Michael like to scope things out before we take the kids because we don't want to stay in a bad hotel or find out there really is not that much to do that the kids would enjoy. We pulled up outside the cozy Comfort Inn hotel located right on the gateway and literally fifteen minutes from any of the attractions. They're also conveniently located within five minutes of two Walmart stores which ended up being super convenient considering I left my ENTIRE makeup bag back in New Jersey! They were also right in the circle of multiple shopping centers and restaurants so you didn't have to eat in the heart of Williamsburg if you didn't want to.

We were really excited to stay in this particular hotel and got even more excited when we checked in. Michael brought our bags in and sat them down on their beautiful marble floor and the concierge behind the counter was one of the nicest people I've ever met. Once we checked in they gave us the key to our room and up we went! Let me clarify that this was our honeymoon and it was the day after our wedding and they upgraded us for free to the only suite they had! It was such an awesome thing to know we had this entire suite to ourselves and man was it beautiful! The room had a sitting area when you first walked in equipped with microwave and refrigerator. It also had another area with a couch that turned into a full sized bed with a TV directly in front of it. This suite is perfect for families as this is a separate room from the master. The kids can have their entertainment in one room and Mom and Dad have privacy in the other! 

The master bedroom had a wonderful king sized bed with a TV in front of it, a computer desk and two spaces that served as closet space. This was really convenient even though it was only two of us because we had packed so many clothes for the week. It's even better for families if you want to unpack for the week, there is plenty of space for the kid's stuff as well. The bathroom had double sinks with tile floor and a wonderfully large shower! The space in this suite was really worth it and would absolutely not feel cramped at all for a family of four (that would be us!). This was a Comfort Inn and we had never stayed at one before but staying in this suite for the time we did really make us feel as if we were in a high-end hotel! The bed had clean fitted sheets on them with more pillows than you can imagine and boy does my husband LOVE pillows, also the king size bed makes you feel like you have more space than a space shuttle. 

I've mentioned the location before and it really was absolutely perfect. The mere fact that I had to buy makeup essentials and didn't have to drive forty-five minutes to buy them was incredible. We visited Williamsburg, Jamestown, and Yorktown and it didn't take us more than 15 minutes to get anywhere. We could go out for a few hours and still come back to eat in town if we wanted to. If you're going to stay at a hotel for a great price you're going to want to stay at this Comfort Inn. There's a free buffet breakfast included in your stay and my husband tends to be up at 5:30 in the morning for some ridiculous reason but the breakfast was always full and we never had to wait for anything. Every thing was very clean and fresh. Between the amenities and the location of this Comfort Inn, if you're taking the family down to see historic Williamsburg this is THE PLACE you're going to want to be. If you found this review to be helpful I would suggest booking directly through the Comfort Inn Website. They run great deals and have a little notes section in case you want to tell them it's your honeymoon!

What's in your makeup bag?

As my brand has grown bigger I've finally developed my niche! As well as my parenting side of my blog I also like to update about engagements, weddings, makeup and all the fun stuff! As a mom there are many times on the weekends where I find it totally acceptable to just throw my hair back, put my abercrombie sweats on and walk out the door. That's usually at 7am when I have to take the dog to the vet. But other days like at my job when I have to look presentable and when we go out as a family I really clean up well! So here's a list of some skin care and makeup must haves that are in my bag! Have fun! (Note: The links are affiliate links and I get a commission from them but I do not endorse anything on here I wouldn't recommend completely)


1. Liquid Foundation
So at the ripe age of 18 when I didn't need makeup I looked like a disaster. Fast forward ten years and I have laugh wrinkles which are awesome but I also have skin that I'd like to make look photoshopped! I discovered liquid foundation and how to use it when I was about 25 and finally found the Maybelline Mousse Foundation probably a year ago. It matches my skin perfect and makes it look airbrushed but doesn't clog my pores or sit in my lines on my face. You can find it here and it's a great price! 


2. Eyeliner
Now you can either do liquid liner or pencil liner. I have the Maybelline unstoppable liner. Liquid liner is definitely more precise but in my case I have zero dollars most of the time and I can't use liquid on the bottom part of my eye. If you do use liquid I would suggest this one from Maybelline. I know I use them a lot but I have sensitive skin and their product line doesn't irritate me or give me styes. Yuck! Either way I've been using eyeliner forever and I'm pretty sure I look sick and or tired without it.


3. Powder Foundation
I was never really one for all the foundations until I turned 28 and I've been getting my Ipsy bag for a while now. Anyway on top of my liquid foundation I use a powder foundation to set my look and make it look more matte and less shiny. I use BelláPierre Cosmetics Banana Setting Powder. It's a little more expensive but I really like it. It matches my skin tone and really sets my makeup for the day. It doesn't settle into my lines or anything and covers really well.

4. Eyebrow filler
Sooooo my eye brows suck. like bad. like .. thanks dad. I've finally at the ripe age of 28 learned how to contour my brows and shape them perfect. But they're also getting thinner and they're a little lighter. So I use the Maybelline Eye Brow Filler. I've used a couple different ones in the past but this has something in it that literally fills in our brows so they look darker and fuller. It does amazing things. It won't run or smudge even with water. My makeup remover takes it off at night with no issues though. It's inexpensive and lasts FOREVER.

5. Mascara
So again thanks dad for my crappy eyelashes. and allergies. Anyway, I have bad eyelashes. So I use an eye brow curler and then my mascara. Again with the Maybelline. I use this one and it makes my eye lashes look SUPA thick. But not clumpy and it separates as you go. So you don't look totally ridiculous or spidery. It's never given me styes and I can tell you I get them like it's going out of style. 

6. Makeup Remover
Not all makeup removers are the same TRUST ME. I've tried different ones that left my skin feeling oily and it was gross. I now use Burts Bees makeup remover. They have different scents that make you feel refreshed like you actually took the whole day off your face. It removes all of my makeup, oils, everything. I love it. And it's natural!

7. Wash your face!
I learned the hard way when you don't take your makeup off and wash your face you get styes and giant pimples that resemble small children. Berts bee's has always been good to me so I got their brightening face wash. It removes all the dirt and oil and even the white and black heads. Makes my face feel so much better when I'm done. I've never had an issue with it. I also use their astringent. This one is gentle on my face and doesn't tear it up with alcohol. All natural baby! Their entire line of skin care is highly recommended.

8. Last but not least ... lotion!
I've gone back and forth with lotions for years. I have normal skin and my regular routine would be get out of the shower and lotion everything up. Then I got tired of doing it. Then I found Jergens in shower body lotion! Man is this a life saver. When I'm done with everything I just put it on wet skin and it keeps me solid forever. I shower every other day and have never had an issue with itchiness. And it smells SUPA good. Just go buy it now because it's going to be worth it. I promise. You don't feel oily, or sticky. You don't have to rinse it off at all. Besides the Lush products, this is absolutely amazing.


I hope diving into my makeup bag a bit has helped you guys also! It takes a while to find brands you like at a good price, sometimes you have to pay more than you want but it's worth it. Check out those items and let me know what you guys think!